Sunday, December 26, 2004

What's UP With That!

Now I've heard everything! I'm watching Jerry Springer this morning, and there is a guy whose confessing that when he gets horny, or maybe has a fight with his girlfriend, instead of picking up hookers, he goes out and has sex with HOMELESS WOMEN. Yeah, this is his fetish! He says his first experience was with a homeless woman who lived in a large appliance box, and its what gets him off. He went on to say that he likes the smell of stale alcohol and cheap liquor, and the faint smell of urine. Woohoo!! yeah, baby..that's HOT! He then proceeded to go out on the Springer Cam and score himself a woman in a box for $20.00 and a turkey sandwich. We never get to see the chick, but he offers her the $20 and when she accepts, he takes off his clothes and slides on into her box..errr.. in more ways than one. Of course, his girlfriend got to watch this and she went off and told him he was a dirty bastard and other choice things, that was pretty funny. When I hear about things like this, it makes me wonder what the hell is up with some people. Now, you know that if he's doing this, if this is his fetish, then someone, maybe hundreds or thousands of someones, are into the same thing. There is one thing you can be sure of, if you have a thought, a feeling, a desire, a need..there are probably a thousand people having that exact thought or desire. Now thats just wrong! Bum sex, plushies, food, latex, S&M, bondage..doesn't anyone just screw anymore???

Saturday, December 25, 2004


Hope Everyone is enjoying their Christmas Eve Posted by Hello

Friday, December 24, 2004


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE Posted by Hello

20 Ways To Make HIS Xmas XXXmas!

1. Trim his tree.
2. Lick his luscious candy cane.
3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays.
4. Polish his christmas balls.
5. Ride him like a reindeer.
6. Taste his sweet egg-nog.
7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure.
8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la.
9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease.
10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her!
11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle.
12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere.
13. Unwrap his package.
14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed.
15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air.
16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose.
17. Heat him up with a snow job.
18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own.
19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper.
20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Sorry Your Birthday Sucks...

Well, today is J's 40th birthday, and I got nuthin' for him. Of course, I knew I wasn't gonna have anything for him, but I still feel bad that I didn't even get him a card. Happy birthday is nice, but it's kinda lame that it's all ya get from your girlfriend on your 40th. I did send him an Ecard, so I guess that's something, and I will take him out one night with my Olive Garden cards, and on Christmas, when we go to Di's, she will give him something and they may give him cards and stuff, but that's gonna be three days from now, and he has "issues" about his birthday being combined with Christmas. He'll have to get over that this year. I can't believe its 3 days til Christmas. I have absolutely no Christmas spirit this year. I haven't watched any specials except I watched "A Christmas Carol" once, and I managed to catch "Charlie Brown's Christmas", other than that, nuthin. Not even "Year Without A Santa Clause" No Heat Meiser.. No Snow Meiser.. No Mr. 101. I don't care either, cuz Christmas sucks when you can't buy presents. Plus, it kinda sucks this year too, because we usually do Christmas Eve at my sis's, but this year we're not doing anything Christmas Eve. We're going there on Christmas Day instead, because my brother, Rick, is coming up on Christmas Day. I'll be really glad to see him, it willl be nice to have them here, but now I got nuthing to do on Christmas Eve except sit here. I'll be working. pffffffffft

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Saturday, December 11, 2004

PFFFFFFFFFFT

Hello people! Anyone miss me??? Yeah, I didn't think so. Where have I been, you ask? Well, pretty much I've been home, working my ass off, getting farther behind, and being depressed. It really sucks how things can change so much in such a short time. Since the hurricanes, I've been just getting deeper and deeper in a hole, and I can't get ahead. They really killed me. I applied for Hurricane relief from FEMA, but I'm not eligible cuz I don't have any property damage and stuff, so that totally sucks. I got paid 1300.00 yesterday, and its GOOONE. I've got -$235.00 in the bank account at the moment, and I haven't even been grocery shopping yet :::sigh::: .I was actually thinking about just saying phuck it and give up my house, and move in with mom and dad for a while so I can get caught up, then go buy another house, when I get it all straightened out. But then I said, fuck that! I want MY house, and I'm just gonna have to bust my ass to get my shit together, without giving in to depression and bullshit and letting everything go down the toilet. On top of my money stuff, J found out this week that he has been driving around on a revoked license since May. He had an accident a few years back, his fault, and he didn't have insurance. He let it go, didn't take care of it, now he's got a judgement against him, we aren't sure for how much or the details yet, but he's gotta pay that. Then, his insurance will be astronomical once he gets the license back, so he won't be able to afford to drive anyway. I'll probably end up having to go get my license, so I can get insurance and he can drive, or I can drive...whichever. He's been busing it to school, he's not working anyway (of course) so that's not a big deal, but it's just one more thing added to the suckage that my life has become lately. I can't move home with the folks anyway, cuz I'd have to give up my puppies. They wouldn't let them come there, and I wont do that. Although, they won't let J come either, so he'd have to go find someone else to live with.. hmmmm. That's one good argument for mom's house! I got a second part time job, typing for another company, and hopefully that will help some. Christmas is gonna be one big suckfest this year. I can't buy anything for anybody this year, not that they'll care, but it bums me out. I'll feel like crap getting presents and having nothing to give anyone else. On top of which, not only does J graduate from school this month, but it's also his 40th bday on the 22nd..he's gettin' nuthin! I feel bad about it, but there's nothing I can do. I do have some $40 in gift certificates to Olive Garden, so I can at least take him out for his birthday, I guess. Oh well, it will all turn out okay in the end, it always does. It may not turn out the way I'd like it to, and I may have to adjust my plans and deal with whatever I have to do, but somehow, someway, It will all work itself out. Until then, I'll be working and trying to look on the bright side.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male
and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male
reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till
after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every
historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of
them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've
known. Only women, while pregnant, would be able to drag a fat man
in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get
lost.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT....... !!!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Makes Sense to Me

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Australia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.



Makes Sense to Me

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Australia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.



Cupid - Free Online Dating and Match

Thursday, November 25, 2004


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! Posted by Hello

Monday, November 22, 2004

It's Almost That Time Again

Well, here it is again.. Thanksgiving time. Wasn't it just Halloween yesterday? Damn, it creeps up on ya quicker and quicker every year. I just finished my Halloween candy the other day! As always, we're going to my sis's for the big day. She's doing the turkey..well, cooking the turkey, not doing the turkey. Doing the turkey is a whole other thing, and she's been to therapy and has learned to control those urges. But, she'll prepare the bird, and the taters, and stuff like that, mom will bring some pies, and I'm gonna cook turnip, and do up some deviled eggs. I may even stuff some celery, I haven't decided yet. I bought some stuff to make some pies, and I have an idea for an experimental pie concoction, that maybe I'll post the recipe to, once I do a test run and see if it will be edible or not. Most of my concoctions come out pretty good, but ya never can tell. Drew will be home, and he hasn't been home since September, so it will be good to see him, and my brother John and his family were thinking of coming down, but it turns out they can't make it, so it will be just about 8 or 9 of us for dinner. I went shopping yesterday and somehow spent about $200...that I don't have. Yeah, that check will be bouncing like a rubber ball, but screw it, it's only Thanksgiving once a year. I wouldn't have spent so much, except I bought a turkey and some stuff to make a dinner here for me and J, cuz I like to have my own turkey at the house, so I can have leftovers and turkey sammiches. I'm trying to get in the holiday spirit, and I'm kinda starting to feel it, but it's early yet. It probably won't fully kick in until I'm getting in the car to go to dinner...or until I turn on the parade and see the big rubber cartoon characters floating down the street. That always helps to put you in the mood.

UPDATE: Okay, I tested my pie idea and it tastes pretty darn good. This is an adaptation of a pumpkin pie recipe I found on Kraftfoods.com and another recipe for a pineapple pie I found.

PIE CONCOCTION RECIPE
Bottom layer 4 oz. (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
1 Tbsp. milk
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, thawed, divided
1 HONEY MAID Graham Pie Crust (6 oz.)

1 cup milk
1 pkg. (4-serving size each) JELL-O Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding & Pie Filling
1 can of pineapple bits.
some coconut flakes (if you like coconut).

MIX cream cheese, 1 Tbsp. milk and sugar in large bowl with wire whisk until well blended. Gently stir in half of the whipped topping. Spread into crust.

POUR 1 cup milk into large bowl. Add pudding mix. Beat with wire whisk 2 minutes or until well blended. (Mixture will be thick.) Refrigerate for 5 minutes, then add the other half of the Cool Whip and fold together. Add pineapple to taste. I used about half the can, and add coconut, about 1 cup, maybe a little less.. or not..depending on how much you like coconut. Spread over cream cheese layer.

REFRIGERATE 4 hours or until set. Garnish with whipped topping, and/or the remaining pineapple. Store leftover pie in refrigerator

Sunday, November 21, 2004

It Just Bugs Me

Ya know what commercial bugs me? The TGI Friday's.. I think it's TGI Friday's anyway.. whatever, it's the one where the husband walks up to his wife, sitting with her friends in the restaurant and asks "What are you doing here?".,,with a "tone". She explains herself to him, as if she has no right to be sitting in a restaurant having dinner with her friends. She should be home alone with the kids. He's at the restaurant! What's he doing there? Why isn't his ass home with the kids? Yeah.. I do have issues SO WHAT!

Quote For Today

"The truth is like the sun. People used to think it was good for ya". King of the Hill.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

MEN SUCK!!

Why is it, that men are such assholes!! Okay, let me rephrase that.. why is that the men who end up with me are such assholes!! arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Why is it, that I can't have a calm, reasonable, normal conversation, without wanting to smash him over the head with a very heavy, blunt object? Any time I try to talk to him about anything, he somehow manages to get me so frustrated and pissed off, I end up screaming at him like a mad woman, and usually hanging up the phone on him. I don't scream at people! I'm a calm, rational, easygoing person. I don't argue and fight. I'm sensible and understanding.. until I talk to J. My GAWD he's such an ass sometimes! All I tried to do was tell him that Jazmine somehow got out of the yard, even though the gates were closed and there are no holes anywhere. She can't jump the fence, so I can only assume that someone let her out. He tells me not to let them out in the yard to run anymore, to which I reply that I got the yard for the dogs to run in, so why should I punish them and not let them run, or tie them up when I put them out, because some idiot in my neighborhood wants to let them out the gate? I'll just get a lock for the gates. Simple, right!? Then he tells me I shouldn't bother to tell him anything, if I'm not going to take his suggestions. This pissed me off. I can't tell him anything. I can't have a conversation with him about things that go on, unless I agree with him about what to do? So, I said, what if she had gotten out of the yard was lying dead in the street...should I not mention this because he can't do anything to help? I suppose I should just act like nothing happened, and let him figure it out for himself. Why bother with anything so assinine as conversation! I seriously need to rethink this whole living together thing. He just needs to go, and I really and truly don't think it will be long before he will be gone. Now, excuse me while I go get something strongly alcoholic and try to calm myself...

Saturday, November 06, 2004

I GOT NO LIFE

Well, here it is, another Saturday night, and I'm where I always am. Right here in front of this computer, working. Yahoo! I seriously need a life. I'm very bored with my life lately, and there's not a thing I can do about it. I have some stuff planned, and hopefully, within a short time, I will be able to change my situation and actually get something that resembles a real life. Where I can go out and do stuff, and have fun. The Jax fair is going on this week, and I really, really wanted to go, but I can't. I got no money. I got no time. This totally sucks! Damn POS hurricanes really screwed me financially, and it's going to take me a while to dig out. Oh well PHUQUE IT! Can't change it, guess I'll just have to learn to deal with it. I did actually do something yesterday. J took me out to dinner..he actually PAID..with his OWN money. We went to Barnhill's. It's your typical self-serve, salad bar type place, like Golden Corral and stuff, no big deal, really. J calls em trough restaurants. He says they're all named things like Barnhill's and Golden Corral, because all the cows go there to gorge at the troughs. He really doesn't like going there, but it's close and it's cheap. It may not be the Outback, but I didn't have to cook, and I didn't have to pay, so I was all excited. It doesn't take much. It was pretty funny,cuz the poor waiter guy didn't know what to do. He was new, and he forgot our silverware, and we had to remind him to get our drinks. J was making fun of him until I told him to stop being mean and give the poor guy a break..but it was funny..and then when he brought our drinks, he stopped for a minute, looked at us, then gave J my Diet Coke and me his sweet tea. Now, it could have been right, it's not impossible, but really, what are the chances? I don't know whether to be insulted or not. Either he was being sweet and trying not to insult me, and didn't want to insinuate that I needed to be drinking Diet Coke, and just assume it was for me. LOL. Either way, it was pretty funny. Sad, when picking on a waiter is the most fun thing you do all week. pffffffffft. One good thing, that I'm pretty happy about, is that Belle has, apparently, learned to keep her behind in the yard. Has anyone noticed I haven't mentioned in a while that she got loose.. I haven't had to chase her through the neighborhood for two hours. She hadn't gotten off the leash in a long time, but over the past two or three weeks, she's gotten loose four or five times, and she HASN'T JUMPED THE FENCE! J went out one day, she had been outside for a while, and she somehow had gotten off the leash, and she was just running around the yard with Jasmine. I thought it was maybe because she had her chain dragging behind her. Maybe she didn't realize she was actually free. But then she's gotten loose several times since then, and she runs around the yard with Jazmine and actually comes to me when I call her, and goes in the house when I tell her to. Its very strange! I'm not complaining, I just don't know what got into her. I wish I could count on her not jumping ever again, so I could let her just run with Jazmine, but I know if another dog came trotting down the street, or something she wanted to chase, she'd be over the fence in half a second. At least I don't have to freak if she happens to get loose now, cuz there's a good possibility she will just stay in the yard. Now, if I could just teach her not to dig everything out of the trash and scatter it all over the kitchen.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Hail To The Chief

Well, Bush was the big weiner! As I kinda figured he would be. Even though I wasn't really sure who I woulda voted for, I kinda think I would have went with Kerry. I tend to be a liberal sort, and I don't like Bush's foreign policy too much, and I don't like his opinions on abortion, etc. Then again, I kinda think he got us into this mess, he should have to get us out. We'll just have to wait and see what happens, I guess. Good news is, it's just four short years in the long, long history of the U.S. President's come and go, and who knows, he may surprise everyone and actually do well. Either way, in four years we'll have no choice but to pick someone else. We'll have two fresh new choices, and with any luck one or both of them will be better than the choices we were given this year. I'm surprised it wasn't a lot closer than it was, considering the number of people who I know were voting for Kerry. Oh well, it's done and over with, and Bush at least is a known evil. We know where he stands, and know what to expect. It's all good.

On the lighter side, tonight is the Most. Dramatic. Rose. Ceremony EVER! night. Yes, that's right, it's Bachelor night. I've been watching. I can't help myself. Byron is pretty hot, and OMG I'm sooo glad he finally got rid of psycho Jayne. Man, she was a nut case. Tonight is hibbity jibbity night.. the Fantasy Overnight Date show...aka Byron gets some Bootie night. You know they're all totally gonna be sayin' yes to sharing the fantasy suite. Cuz that's what the little tramps always do. Can't blame em, really, cuz I'd totally give Byron a little bit of sunthin', sunthin'. C'mon..ya know you would too. Even though I don't usually like blondes, he's pretty hot. He looks like a guy I used to date way back when...yummy. So, I'm going to get me something to drink and hunker down to watch the show.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Happy Election Day!

Ok! So, today's the big day. Did everyone go vote today? Did you do your civic doodie and vote for lame or lamer? I didn't, though I wish I could have. Next time I'm totally gonna vote, but this time all I could do was sit back and hope the rest of you make the right decision. Just think! by this time tomorrow we will either have a brand spankin' new President of the U.S.. or Georgie will have himself a second chance. So, who do you think won?! I couldnt begin to guess. I have a feeling it will be pretty close either way. I'm just glad that I'll finally be able to look at my TV again without hearing the words "I approve of this message" and no more political crap..no more my candidate can beat up your candidate.. and your candidate is a big ol' poopie head stuff. Yeah! Ya know what, it's over and if I had been able to vote, I still don't have a clue in my mind who I woulda voted for. That's sad..but true.I don't know who J voted for, I didn't ask, but if I had to guess I'd say probably Kerry. No telling, really. Doesn't matter though, cuz it's all over but the recount now, bay-bee!

I know I've still been really, really, really lax in the posting thing, but i've just been incredibly busy. I did attempt to post a few times, but the last two..TWO .. posts I attempted got eaten by the Blogger post munching monster. Well, to be fair, Blogger ate one, and the other one my computer decided to freezejust after I hit the publish button.. it was gooooooone. It was a pretty long, chatty, got a lot of catchin up to do type post too. Maybe I'll try to recreate it sometime soon. Not today though, I'm kinda low on the energy here lately. I'm not quite used to the time change yet. This dark an hour earlier every night thing is messin' with me. For a couple days, I was beginning to freak out, thinkin' I should run to the store and buy a stick to pee on, cuz I've been so freakin' tired, all I want to do is sleep, and then my boobs got really tender.. and I felt this kinda bloaty, full feeling in my belly, around where I think my uterus should be...but, as it turns out there was an entirely different reason for the bloaty, crampiness, and boob tenderness..better really late than never, I guess...and the tiredness is probably due to the fact that I never sleep more than four hours in a row. Thank Gawd! Okay, so now I'm caught up a little bit, and I'm off to sit and wait anxiously for the results of today's festivities.

Oh yeah! I forget the folks on t'other side of the country still have a little time left to get their votes in. So, I guess it's not over yet for all of us. Go you non-votee people and vote! do it! DO IT NOW!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Cooties!!

Ya know what I wonder? Why is it, that no matter how much I care about a guy, no matter how many unspeakable acts I've performed with, to, or for him, no matter that his tongue has been in my mouth (and pretty much everywhere else), and I've been involved in some slightly kinky stuff with him....you know, back when I used to actually like to do stuff with him.. I still don't want him to drink from my bottles, my straw, bite from my food, or use (blech, blech, shiver) my toothbrush.. does most other people feel that way..or is it just me?

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Britney's Little Prick

Seems Britney Spears had a somewhat thorny honeymoon. According to Yahoo!


Kevin "Timber-clone" Federline, the maybe-hubby of Britney Spears, came on like a trashy romance novel Lothario when he ordered dozens of roses delivered in cellophane bags--and dumped them all over their honeymoon bed. Kevin then carried maybe-wifey Britney into the bridal chamber, dumped her near-nekkid bod on the rosy mound--and recoiled when she immediately leaped up screaming in pain, her skin peppered with tiny pricks! Turns out it was Kevin's first floral seduction, and nobody told him you're supposed to have the florist remove the thorns.

Kevin's ex-galpal Shar Jackson seems cool with the idea of her kiddies' daddy dumping her for Toxic Pop Tart. At Hollywood's Tokio karaoke, Shar got up to perform and a patron shouted, "Sing a Britney Spears song!" Some folks gasped, but Shar just smiled and belted out a groovy rendition of "Baby One More Time."

The Eagle Has Landed

George Bush has landed in Jacksonville, and is right downtown at Alltel Stadium right now, getting ready to give his speech and whatnot. There are 50,000 people there. If I wanted to watch this crap I woulda went to the dang stadium, so why they gotta disrupt Dharma and Greg and make me watch it on my TV!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Funnies

Found written on bathroom wall
Tandy's
Houston, Texas USA 77396
Women's restroom

If you voted for Bush the last election, you can't shit here. Your asshole is in Washington.

BAHAHAHA

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

If Bush were captain of the Titantic, he'd say we were stopping for ice

To give equal time to Kerry bashing..

"John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for." —David Letterman

"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the dad from 'The Munsters."' —Jay Leno

"Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card." —Craig Kilborn

"I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal." —David Letterman

"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." —David Letterman



Wednesday, October 20, 2004

What now!!

Christ on a cracker!!! Why meeeeeeee. All I wanted to do today is get up bright and early and work as much as I can all day so that I can get massive amounts of work done and get ahead. So..I'm sitting here at my computer, fingers flying, working like a little a mad woman, when all of a sudden I notice that the TV has the blue TIVO screen that says it can't find the signal or whatever..I flip the channels and still no cable. then I notice my internet is out too.. so I pick up the phone to call the cable company.. no freakin phone either! WTF! I called the cable company on the cell phone, and they said they'd send someone out on a service call. Sometime between 2 and 5..arrrrrgghh. As it turned out, they got here before 1:00, and I now have internet and cable and phone again...Thank Gawd. Apparently, a truck or something came down the street and took down my line. How? That had to be one hell of a high-ass truck to be able to take down the cable line, so I think they're full of shit, and it just fell. Maybe a squirrel chewed it or something. I dunno...but now I'm way behind where I had planned to be by this time. Okay, I'm done venting and I will now return to my slaving.

Play MASH online

Remember playing the MASH game when you were a kid? Now you can play online. Just go here Play MASH online I played and, apparently, I'm gonna:

Marry Eric (sorry Eric's current wife pffft)
We'll live in Paris in a mansion, drive a blue Ferrari, have five kids, and for a living, I will be a singer. Way cool! Except..If I'm gonna have five kids I think I better get a jump on it. First I gotta go back to Mass, break up Eric and his wife, and start on that singing career.. whew. Sounds like I'll be busy for a while.

I found this game through Wendy at twodolla

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Hmmm...Sounds Like a Plan

This is something I found on my travels around the internet, and I'm not sure if it really is from Robin William's, but I thought I'd share..

Robin William's plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a
plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in
their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.

2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting
with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and
leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90
days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation
would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the
bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world,
we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!


I lifted this from The Pnut House click to enlarge.

For those of you blind like me, it says....

Jesus of Nazareth says, "Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you"...Jesus favors more government handouts from welfare cheats.

Jesus of Nazareth says, "Judge not, that you be not judged"...Jesus is soft on crime.

Jesus of Nazareth says, "Render therefore unto Ceasar the things which are Ceasars"... Jesus will raise your taxes.

Jesus of Nazareth says, "Do not resist one who is evil, but if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other"....Can we trust Jesus to fight the war on terror?

Jesus...Wrong on social servicesWrong on crime Wrong on defenseWrong for America.

Too funny!

Givin' It Up

I give up. I am giving up the hope that my house will ever be truly clean, and I'm just gonna stop fighting the mess. I have been trying and trying to keep it clean and presentable, because I'm STILL waiting for the appraisers to call to come do the appraisal, so I can finally get the whole house sale thing going. It stays clean for all of 10 minutes, and it looks like I never touched it. Then ya just gotta do it all again! It's ridiculous. I don't even have kids, and I can't keep it clean. I try and try to just clean stuff as I go and keep on top of it, but somehow I turn around and it looks like one giant crapfest. So, I'm letting go. I'm giving it up. When the appraisers come, they can wade through the piles of dust and dog hair, move the dirty dishes off the couch, walk over the dirty clothes on the floor.. i just don't care anymore. Okay, it's not quite that bad in here, but it just feels like it! LOL  I don't know where my time goes anymore. My blogging is down from regular to once in a while, and it's cuz I just don't have the time to sit and compose a post worth reading. I want to, I really do, and I keep trying to make time to do it, but I blink and there goes my day. I blame it on that whole work thing, I guess. Trying to catch up and dig myself outta the hole I'm in after those POS hurricanes has kept me busy a lot. It's gonna take me a while to get back on track, but I'm trying to hold it all together. The one good thing is J has been pretty good lately. He's been helpful around the house, and not bitching, and he's actually trying to help me by giving me a little cash when he can. One less thing I have to stress about. I'm sure it's a temporary thing, and he'll go back to irking me shortly, but for now it's been pretty peaceful around here lately. Okay, its bed time and I'm outta here for now.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Oh HELL No!

A friend of mine wants to go to a movie next week, or whenever the 22nd is.. but I said Oh HELL Nooooo. There is one movie you definitely won't be seeing me at ever. Ever. EVER!


Every time I see the previews for this movie I have the willies for 20 minutes. I love me some Buffy..errr..Sarah Michelle Geller.. and I like a good scary flick once in a blue moon, especially around Halloween, cuz..well..that's what Halloween's for, right? That and candy, of course, but even the candy is more fun with a little scary thrill. But the previews of this movie squick me out so much, I definitely won't be seeing it. Not in the theater especially on the big screen, with the freakiness all up there huge and loud. Not even on DVD in the safety and comfort of my room, where I can fast forward over the really scary bits.. Noooo, not this girl. The sight of that freaky looking litlle boy-creature with the glassy eyes and the mouth open :::shiver:::: he just creeps me right the phuque out. Then when the hand comes up outta the water and grabs the arm..nuh uh! Not going anywhere near that one. Okay, I may be a scaredy cat..but I'm a scaredy cat who ain't havin no nightmares on the 22nd.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I Stole This from Joelle..





The Girl Next Door
I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.
-- Erma Bombeck
The Girl Next Door is from a small town, a large family, or both. She still has a healthy dose of what people 'round these parts call "family values." She calls her grandparents every Sunday and she's got her mom on speed dial. The Girl Next Door likes an uncomplicated life filled with the simple pleasures of family, home, kids, and food. She may not actually live on a farm, but she tends to keep a menagerie. Asked to choose between a dog and a cat, she generally won't. What's a good guard dog without a mouser to keep it company? She is caring and warm, welcoming and friendly. Anybody in your office ever bring in chocolate chip cookies? You got yourself a Girl Next Door.

The defining characteristics of the Girl Next Door are simplicity and tradition. Simplicity means that, unlike the Academic Girl, she's really not that interested in the great questions that keep philosophers up at night. When she can sit in the kitchen, drinking coffee, eating shortbread cookies with a friend, and listening to the cat purr on top of the radiator, what else is there to life? What else, indeed.

She Might Be a Girl Next Door if:

She drives: a good, solid American car -- a Ford Taurus, Chevy Cavalier, or Dodge Stratus.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: her family's holiday traditions.
She begins her sentences with: "my mother says..."
She'd never: go to a rave.
She owns any of the following: scrapbooks, heirloom quilts, a Bible, family recipes, her grandmother's engagement ring.

Progressive Girl
Moderation in all things, excess in nothing.
-- Epicurus
Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She Might Be a Progressive Girl if:

She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

All I Want For Christmas..


This is what I want for Christmas. Just in case anyone was planning on buying me something. LOL

Talks and sings "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch"
Play the part of The Grinch - talk into microphone and he'll move his mouth to words
Head turns and hips swing
Mouth moves to the words of song
Connect to stereo and he'll sing favorite tunes
Collapses to 3-feet for easy storage
his product operates with regular 120V A/C. A 120V A/C adapter jack is built into the base and the adapter is included with product. Input: 120V A/C 60 Hz. Output: 6V D/C 800 mA.

I saw him at Wally World the other night, and I just have to have him. The big dancing Santa and dancing Snowman are pretty kewl too, but I just really want the Grinch. J says no way is he buying it for me...freakin' party pooper, that's what he is! I can't believe they have all the Christmas stuff out already.. what happened to Halloween? Thanksgiving?.. don't wanna waste any time, I guess.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Where's the Zzzzzz's

This is not good. I have been up pretty much all night, with the exception of a few 20 or 30 minute catnaps I took when I fell asleep in my chair. I was up working all night and watching movies. Now, I need to go to sleep, because if I don't I'm gonna be all screwed up and backwards for the next day or two. Problem is, I'm not really tired, and I'm not sure if I lie down I'll be able to fall asleep. It's after 11:00 a.m. already. On the upside, I called the doc and requested my prescription for my ear, I got my dishes done, and my kitchen is almost clean. I'll finish it later. I did manage to get a shitload of work done last night. I'm still wide awake enough that I'm thinking of going in there to clean my bathroom, cuz it's the most unbelievably disgusting thing I've seen in a long time. It's even worse than it was now, because J took a bath and shaved this morning and didn't wash out the tub or the sink. He was cleaning the yard all day yesterday, so it's pretty freakin' gross. I'm really, really not happy about it, but I can't really complain since he really busted his ass yesterday and got all the storm debris picked up and out to the curb, and mowed the yard, and he even cleaned all the leaves and branches out of the pool for me. I actually thought about givin' him a little reward *wink wink*, but then I thought "screw that", and instead I fixed him dinner. Voluntarily. Real food, not even in the microwave. Tonight I want a big fat steak or something really good like that, but unfortunately I don't own any. I may have to go to the store to pick up my prescription. if they call one in for me, so I just may have to run over to the grocery store and pick up some steaks and some taters, so I can make a fat pan of mashed taters. mmmmmmm. Dang, I wish J didn't have to go back to school today, cuz I'd totally be making him take me to the store right now. He was out of school/work all of last week because his school got flooding from the hurricane, and he went back today. Figures, now that he's gone I need him. Dang it! I guess I'm gonna go lie down and attempt to sleep, although I'm waiting for the doc's office to call me back. I know the minute I drift off, the phone will ring, but I have to attempt it anyway or I'll be screwed.
1

Another Quiz For Ya

ex light
You're like a fairy. Fairies were the little pixies
that usually lived in the forest with wings
like butterflies and perfect little faces.
they had brown or blonde hair and pale skin
with freckles. They were entergetic, joyful,
playful, very smart, and peaceful. Fairies are
deffinately the most famous of all fantasy
creatures. (If you cannot see the picture, go
to my userpage and look near the bottom. There
should be the picture and description for all
the results)


What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Haven't done any quizzes in a long, long time.. it's time for one, I think.


All of your friends are jealous and you know it. The boy is some romantic, he always can make a rose appear out of nowhere just to cheer you up. He often says you're his angel and%2
All of your friends are jealous and you know it.
The boy is some romantic, he always can make a
rose appear out of nowhere just to cheer you
up. He often says you're his angel and always
knows how to make you blush a dark shade of
red.


What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, October 03, 2004

A Bunch Of Stuff...

As you can see below, I have posted some pictures of some stuff for your viewing pleasure. Because they post bottom to top, you may enjoy them more if you start with the last one and work your way up.. but then again, maybe not. I'll leave that up to you. I would have taken some pictures of the inside of the house, but..well..it's pretty scary in here. One day I will clean it, and then I promise to take pictures of the inside of my teenie tiny little house..because I know you're just dying to see it..*cough, cough*

Today, I realized something. There is more "top 40" type music on the radio that I really like these days than there has been for quite a while.. like these people. I really like them.

I woke up this morning with another ear infection, and it hurts. pretty much. I have decided I don't like pain. I took some pain stuff today, and put some antibiotic drops into it from the last one.. and Monday will probably find me treking to the doctor's office, if it isn't better from the drops by then. I hate doctors!.. and I hate ear infections.

I had to go to Wally World today, even though I was way tired, and didn't feel well cuz of my ear infucktion..but off we went. Actually, we went last night first, and the fugly slutty ho-bag (this name pretty much covers anyone who doesn't give me my way) behind the returns desk wouldn't give me money back for the wireless modem card I bought for my computer on Monday (which I bought to use during my hotel stay. so that I could work, with the full intention of returning it when I was done.. is that so wrong??), just because I couldn't find my receipt. She said the policy is 30 days with a receipt for modems and stuff. I needed my 50.00 back! Now, I know i've returned many a thing, computer related and not, without a receipt, and been given a refund. I knew I wouldn't get cash without the receipt, but usually they give you a gift card thingy for the amount. I was okay with that, since I had to buy groceries and some stuff, but the skanky ho just said no. I almost smacked her..but I didn't. I went home and luckily found the receipt on my bedroom floor, so we went back today.. even though he had to practically drag me outta the house. You know I don't feel good when i don't wanna go shopping. So anyway.. J actually gave me money.. I returned the modem, and then I was able to get the stuff I needed. He. Actually. Gave. Me. Money! Cash. Moola. Only 75.00, but still.. He also bought some trash cans for outside that we needed, and replaced the lawnmower blade he broke on the lawnmower I just paid to have fixed. I was really pissed about him breaking it, but it's all good now. Plus, he bought dinner yesterday and today for us, and had John come over to fix my ceiling fan. He earned some brownie points today. I may even have to give him a little sunthin sunthin. Probably not...but maybe. Speaking of a little sunthin sunthin.. the weirdest thing happened while I was standing in line at Wally World. This little redneck looking guy in a grimy Tshirt..and not so many of his teeth left.. walked up to me and said "Hey there darlin..you interested in a little lovin tonight?" WHAT THE FUCK! After I picked my jaw up off the floor...It really took all I could do not to slap him..or laugh in his face.. I said. "Uh, no .. I have a boyfriend, and he's right there" cuz J was walking up the aisle towards the checkout at just that moment. I was just in shock and didn't know what else to say. He just said, "Oh, okay", and walked away. Now.. I'm wondering if this approach has worked for him in the past. I couldnt quite figure out what would make someone walk up to a complete stranger in a checkout line and say that. Is it because he saw me and was so overcome by the utter hotness of me that he couldn't stop himself? Or is it because he saw a woman alone in the store, and figured I might be desperate enough to agree? LOL I don't know what his deal was, but he sure freaked me out. All I do know, is I would never be desperate enough to want to do anything with that guy..cept maybe let him use my shower and give him the number to a good dentist. J wanted to go find him and kick his ass, but he was already gone and out of the store. Not that it would have been worth it. Am I the only one this kinda stuff happens to? I swear, it's just something about me that draws all the freaks and weirdos.

There was a lot of kids in there tonight too, and I was watching them all walking around. This one little girl in particular was standing in the ice cream aisle, while her mom was checking out the frozen food. She was very little, blonde, with big blue eyes..and she had a little pink jacket in one hand, and a rubber spatula in the other. She was trying to put her jacket on, cuz it was cold in the ice cream aisle, and she couldn't manage it with the spatula in her hand. I watched her for a minute try to maneuver the jacket and the spatula, and having no luck, and then I offered to help her with her jacket. I held it for her while she put in one arm, then switched her spatula to the other hand and put in the other. Then I said, "There, is that better?" and she just sighed this big relieved sigh and said "Yes! Thank you!" and went to find her mom. I've been noticing kids a lot lately, and thinking about the whole biological clock thing. Mostly cuz I'm 38 now, getting older, and time isn't standing still. I think I've pretty much decided, with certainty, that I don't ever plan to have a baby. I was on the fence about it for a long time.. will I? won't I? do I want to? will I be okay if I don't ever have one? I was always leaning towards no, but the possibility was open..but I've pretty much jumped off the fence and decided that its just not something I need to do. I'm 38 and not with someone I could have a family with, and by the time I ever get with anyone I might want a family with, I'll probably be over 40. That's too late for me to want to start spawning. If I was going to do it, I would have done it years ago. I do love babies though, so somebody around here really needs to start having some. Luckily, I have plenty of nieces and nephews for that. I don't know.. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the future brings. I've got some other thoughts on the subject, but that's a post for another day. Right now, I'm going to bed, cuz my ear infucktion is killing me.

Here is Belle..Bella-my-Bella..da Bell Bell..her woofiness tied up in her usual spot in the yard. If she wasn't retarded and didn't jump the fence, she could run with Jazmine. I've had talks with her about this, but she doesn't seem to care. Someday I will put up a taller fance she can't jump over, and then she'll be able to run too.

Here is Nicki laying her big ass on my bed. I dont like her on my bed, because she is big, and it is not..and she stinks like a dog. but sometimes its just easier to let her lie there, cuz she gives ya the evil eye and growls at you when you try to kick her off.

This is my Jazmine, of course, because I take tons of pictures of her. Only because she is the most cutest woggy ever in the whole world. Okay..so, maybe just to me, but that's my baby.

Here is my other kitty Elmo..Mo Mo.. El Mo..the mominator.. he doesnt look very happy to be having his picture taken does he?

This is Stephie's younger sister, Courtney. She's 14, and she looked really pretty also. Except for the blue fingernails. I don't know what she was thinking with that one. Then, the next day, she dyed her hair red..the day before her school pictures. Her mom is still not happy about that one.

This is a picture of two people in Massachusetts, Chris and Heather, who I don't even know, but was invited to their wedding anyway.

This is a picture of Junior..the most handsomest kitty on the planet. He's too cool..ain't he badass?...

This is a picture of the front of my teenie tiny little house. I took this to remember it by, in case the hurricane blew it away....

This is a picture of Jazmine outside running in the yard. That is my little, teenie tiny house and my kickass Olympic size pool in the background..

J asked John to came over tonight after work and fix my ceiling fan in my bedroom for me. It works now.. I'm very excited about this.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Home Again.. Again

Good Lord it's good to be back home again... That's a song ain't it? or something close to that. After Jeanne knocked my lights out, I packed up and headed for the hotel with the internet access, so that I would be able to work and all that. We spent two nights in the crappy EconoLodge and then moved the last night to the Best Western, which was sooo much better. Room service and everything! Our lights came back on Wednesday, but we had already paid for the room for the night, so we just decided to stay there. Next time this happens, now I know the deal and will just make a reservation, if I have the cash to do it, before the storm gets here and avoid the bullshit. The crappy Econolodge doesn't allow pets, but the Best Western does, so I can bring the babies with me and go there. I'm praying we're done for a long while with these phuqued up hurricanes.. so far, it's looking clear for the foreseeable future. If we could ever get the house crap done, I could just go to Home Depot and get the big generator hook-up. but nooooooooo. I got the loan papers in the mail yesterday, so we're making progress. If it weren't for the storms, we probably would have been through with it by now. Actually, I almost should have saved my money and stayed home, and just took the days off from work. I didn't work as much as I had planned to, so I probably barely earned much more than the 70.00 it cost me a day to stay in the hotels. That's okay though, cuz at least I did make a little bit above it, and I got to stay where we air and lights, and real cable TV. After being at Lisa's and then in the hotels, where they have all the channels, including HBO and stuff, it kinda sucks to be back home with my crappy cable. I almost called up the cable company and told them to come hook me up with the boxes and stuff again, but I talked myself out of it. I am sticking to my guns about not getting the good cable until J starts g'ing up the funds every month. I refuse. I'm punishing myself as much as him, but I really can handle riding it out for a while longer. Then again, I could always just have them come hook it up in my room, and leave him with the crappy cable, but that would just be wrong. He's got a big job ahead of him cleaning up all the debris from the yard tomorrow, but he claims he's gonna get it done. We'll see.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

After the Storm.

Hurricane Jeanne came and went, and though our lights held out way longer than I expected them to, they went out finally on Sunday afternoon about 5:00, and are still out now. This time, I have the added bonus of my phone being out since early Sunday morning also. The phone company says there are widespread outages with this storm, and on top of the outages, a big tree branch fell on my lines and knocked the line down. Thank Gawd for cell phones! Again, of course, Diane, my mom, and even Brenda out in BFE, all have lights back on already. They lost them for at most a couple of hours, and I'm without still at my house. We went to Di's on Sunday for a few hours, but couldn't stay there too late because we had to be home to let the dogs in and out, and J didn't want to sleep there because he said he wouldnt be able to sleep. He's been on my nerves really, really bad, and we've been bickering and arguing about every stupid little thing in the world for the past few days. I came really, really, REAAALLY close to throwing his ass out early Monday morning, cuz he really pissed me off ..he is such an ass sometimes..but I didn't boot him, and instead I just decided to ignore him when he started being a dick. Mostly because I need his help with taking care of the dogs and stuff until the power comes back on. If it weren't for that, he'd probably be sleeping in his car, that's how sick of listening to his mouth I was. He's been trying to help and do what he can, and he's been running back and forth letting the dogs in and out, picking up stuff we need. Of course, the offer of the free place to work in Maclenny didn't pan out, because they didn't have power either this time, and Brenda's lights came back on shortly after they went out, so she didn't need to vacate to Atlanta to a hotel room this time, so that free room didn't happen either. I have to work though, so I found a hotel room at the nearest, cheapest hotel to my house that offers high speed internet access, and that's where we're parked from last night, until whatever time the lights and my phone are back on. They are predicting it may take as long as Saturday to get everyone back on, but I sincerely hope ours are back on way before Saturday. I really can't afford to stay here until then. Although, as long as I stay through Thursday, the end of the pay period, I can always go home and take the first day or two of the new pay period off if they're not back on yet. I'll just have to wait and see, I guess. The thing that really sucks is that if we had gotten the house closing done before all this crap started, I could have lights, because I could go finance one of those whole-house generator deals that cost 3000.00, that switch over automatically to generator power if your lights go out, and I'd have no problems. It's a lot of money, but it's an investment that would probably pay off if I go to sell the house. I can't do anything though, because I'm not supposed to do anything that would require a credit inquiry to be put on my credit report until after we close. We haven't done the closing because of the damn storms, and its really holding me up on a lot of things I need to do. Now, my yard is full of branches and twigs, and my grass is pretty high again.. not to mention the swamp out there. I need to get that all picked up before they come to do the appraisal, and J isn't doing it. He says its too much for him to do alone. Anyway, I guess I'll get back to work now, and attempt to get some money made while he's gone and it's quiet. I miss my house, I miss my bed, I miss my puppies.. and I'm soooooooooooo sick of this bullshit. I should have stayed in Mass.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

WAITIN' ON JEANNE

Before I left for vacation, they were talking about this stupid hurricane Jeanne, and I thoiught it would have come and gone long before I got back. No such luck. Now it's on its way here to wreak havoc on us once again, and I'm so over this hurricane bullshit. Usually, we get hurricane warnings every year, they swear these huge, major hurricanes are coming right towards us, everyone panics, and they go right by.. not this year. We're getting them all, though not half as bad as those further down south are getting hit. I guess I should be happy that by the time they get here, they tend to be downgraded to tropical storms or level 1 storms. Unfortunately, this area of town seems to lose power if someone sneezes, and it's really pissing me off. I can't work when there's no power, and after losing all those days last pay period from that asshole Frances, then being on vacation for the first half of this one, I can't afford to lose any more days. We lost power today for a few hours, and it wasn't even storming. It was raining a bit outside, and the wind was blowing very, very mildly, and all of a sudden we heard the loud pop as the power blew. I had gone grocery shopping and picked up a few things, and came home and cooked up a bunch of spaghetti, a bunch of chicken, and some sausage slop..stuff that we can eat cold for a few days if we have to..and just as I finished cooking, and finished the dishes, as I was getting ready to head back to work, the lights went out. I thought for sure we would be without power from this point on, so we went to my sister's and I called hotels trying to find one that had a vacancy for tonight and tomorrow night, but they only had openings for tonight. They are all booked for tomorrow and Monday. PFFFFFFFFFT. It makes no sense for one night. By the time I got packed up, got there, got set up, and sat down to work, it wouldnt have been worth having to turn around for checkout time at noon tomorrow to go back home. I don't want to go too far from home, because I need to be close enough to be able to come home and let the puppies out and stuff. So, I'm going to work as much as I can for the rest of tonight, until my power goes out (and it pretty much is guaranteed to go out) and then I guess I'll lose another day of work. Monday I should be okay, because my friend Brenda has some friends in Maclenny who said that if they have power on Monday, and we don't, we can go out there and stay out there until the power goes back on here, so we can use their internet connection and be able to work. That's assuming they have power still themselves. If they don't, and we really need to, the company she works for offered to pay for a hotel room for her until the power goes back on, so she can work. Although, we may have to drive up to Atlanta for that. For some reason, the offer was for a hotel in Atlanta. That's okay though, as long as I can work I'll do what I need to do. Right now, I guess I'll head back to work and get done whatever I can while I still have power to work with.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Home Again

I'm baaack! Boy, I needed that! As predicted, by the time I got to Mass, I was over the whole guilty thing and ready to enjoy my vacation. I never did get to the Big E, which was kinda disappointing, but there just wasn't time. Plus, I got this gimongous blister on my heel from my new shoes, so there was no way I would be able to walk all over the fair. I don't walk well when I don't have a huge blister, it sure isn't a lot of fun with one. I visited with everyone, and got to hang out with the girls, so that was all I really wanted to do anyway. Lisa's friend was in the hospital, so we went to the hospital a couple nights to sit with her for a while, and the friend's son's wedding was on Saturday, so I went with Lisa to the rehearsal dinner and to the wedding. We went to Longhorn's for the rehearsal dinner and it kinda sucked. We still had fun, but the food was a complete disappointment. We only got to go to that, even though we weren't family or actually part of the wedding, because two of the girls, Steph and Holly, were in the wedding. Walter, the father of the groom, who is Lisa's friend's husband, was such a jerk. We were laughing our asses off at him all night. It only cost 350.00 to feed 28 people, including a few people who ordered alcohol and the 5.00 piece of cheesecake that the bride ordered, and he was flippin' out about the cost. He only paid half to start with. It was pretty hilarious. The wedding itself was nice, and the reception was really nice too. The bride's parents were really, really nice people. The groom's family was a complete mockery. LOL. We were worried that MJ, mother of the groom/Lisa's friend, wouldnt get out of the hospital and be able to go, but they released her and she was able to go in a wheelchair. It turns out that I know her mom, because I used to work with her in Kmart a thousand years ago. I think I worked there from like 1985 to 1986 or 87. She was a nice lady. Small world. The reception was held at the Castle of the Knights hall in Chicopee, and they served a ton of cheese and crackers, fruit, and veggies as appetizers, and then the meal was a buffet of steak, prime rib, shrimp, chicken, salad, and a bunch of other stuff. It was soooo good. I had to go to K-mart and buy new shoes before the wedding, because the ones I brought with me gave me the blister and I couldn't wear them. That's the one thing I forget about living in West Side, it's not like living here. There's not a Wally World or K-mart every 500 feet, you have to drive all the way to Westfield and stuff. It's pretty much a trek to get to the store. They don't have super Wally World either. They do have, however, Dunkin Donuts everywhere. There's a Dunkies right around the corner from Lisa's house, so Coolattas and Boston Creme donuts are way too close for comfort. Other than the wedding and running to the hospital, we pretty much just hung out. I went to Britty's soccer game on Sunday. Her team lost, but she did really well. Unfortunately, Lisa had to work while I was there, filling in for MJ while she was in the hospital, but we still managed to find time to visit and have fun...and eat A LOT. I went next door Friday during the day to visit with Lisa's mom til she got home. Her mom has diabetes and is pretty much housebound now. She's only in her 50's, but she can't walk well and needs a wheelchair. It was good to get to visit with her and Lisa's sister, Kim, too. I never did get to see either of my brothers while I was there, but I did call them. We just couldn't work it out. That was okay though, because I just saw them all a few months ago, and I was really there to visit with Lisa. They are talking about coming down for Thanksgiving, so I'll see them then. I may not see Lisa and the gang for another three years. I'm supposed to go back up in June for Ryan's graduation..she's all excited about that..but who knows if I'll make it or not. I'd like to go, because she'll be the first of their family to actually graduate. I'm gonna have to see what I can do, I guess. If I do go, and J is still here, I'll probably have a bitch of a time trying to get to go alone again. All he did the whole time I was gone was call me and aggravate me. I talked to him on Monday, and he pissed me off with his stupidness so bad I had to hang up on him three times in a half hour conversation. The whining! the bitching! the absolute stupidity! I didnt answer the phone after a while, because I didn't want to deal with him. OMG! I did really, really miss my puppies though. I wish I coulda brought them with me. Every time I go up there, they tell me to stay, and move back up there, and I actually think about it. I love being with them and spending time up there. There is always something to do, somewhere to go, people to talk to, some event going on. They have parties and different events, and they go camping and actually do stuff, and I could be part of it all. I could have a life again. I could stay and enjoy the fall foliage and the smell and feel of fall in New England. I've always loved that. I'm always so sad to have to go. It breaks my heart to get on the plane. Then.. I remember that it will be cold up there really soon, and I hate the snow. Then.. I get off the plane and see the familiar places and things I'm used to now.. it's warm here.. my family is here.. we have Super Wally World. Then.. I get to my peaceful, quiet house...with my stuff, my comfy bed, and my puppies and kitties that drown me in doggy love and are so deliriously happy that I'm here...and I'm glad to be home.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

What's WRONG With Me
Here Iam sitting in the airport, waiting on a flight..2,5 hours early BTW ..but that's a bitchfest for later...and i'm on vacation I earned it, I sure as hell need it, I can't wait to get there. So..why do I feel like I'm doing something wrong..like I should be home working and taking care of J and the puppies? I'm anxious about flying to start with, and now I feel guilty about abandoning my puppies, and not sitting home working when I could be. I think I'm demented or something. I know once I get there I'll be fine, and forget about guilt and work, and everything else. ...though I already miss the puppies, but right now I'm just gonna sit here and try not to think about all the things I should be doing besides loafing around taking vacations.
Blogging On The Zire 72
Gotta love all this newfangled teknoligy. I can be able to blog anywhere now with the PDA. I don't think I'll be composing any huge posts this way, cuz even with TextPLUS to help fill in some stuff, it's still a lot slower going than typing on a regular keyboard. Sure is kewl though
Testing
testing

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Leaving On a Jet Plane

In just over 24 hours from now, I will be getting on the plane and heading off to Massachusetts for six glorious days of fun and freedom.. and freezing my ass off. I forgot it's kinda cold up there in September, and I don't really own a jacket. I may have to break down and buy one I think, although I guess I could just stay in the house the whole time. I hate wearing jackets and coats, they're so restricting and icky. I like the look of them but wearing them is a completely different story. I'm just hoping that stupid Hurricane Ivan isn't here by then, because I'm freaking out enough about having to fly after not flying for so many years, a hurricane is all I need. At least they're saying it looks like we won't get too much of it, unless the course changes a lot over the next 24 hours, so they shouldn't have to cancel my flight or anything. If it does come through, and the power goes out this time, at least I won't be here to have to deal with it. I'm really nervous about leaving the dogs here for six days with J to look after them. They are gonna freak .. I can just imagine the whining from Jazmine now. I'm gonna miss my puppies so much, I haven't been without them for that many days either. I'm pretty much finished packing except for a few last minute things, and I think I'll be able to get away with not having to check a bag..thank Gawd! I hate waiting in that dang baggage claims place. Lisa and John will be picking me up at the airport, I can't wait to see them. I really do need this vacation.. lots!! I kinda wish J could come with me, cuz I feel bad leaving him, but I really do need a vacation from him too. Six whole whine-free, bitch-free days..wheeeeeeeeee. The only bad thing is that with missing all those days from work from the storm, and then I ended up missing most of this weekend too because I had more computer problems and my coordinator wanted to be a fuckhead, so I'm gonna be completely and totally screwed this pay period. My check is gonna suck in a major way. I wont be able to pay my rent. I'll have to get payday loans, and then I'll have to pay them back. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. But I'm not gonna stress. I'm not gonna worry. It will all work out one way or the other in the end. Okay.. I'm going back to work and try to earn as much money as I can before the end of the pay period tomorrow night.

I colored my hair today for the first time in a long while..its pretty blonde, but of course with these dang red highlights

Elmo

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Blogger's New Features

I'm really kinda likin' Blogger's new features. The search bar at the top of the page with the Blog This and next blog features is pretty convenient. I also love the new editing features and that they added that whole hide it feature..whatever it's called.. where you can hide part of your post and click the link to read the rest. But one of the kewlest things I've found is the Picasa, through Google, combined with Hello and BloggerBot that lets you post pics to your blog without having to make links or upload them to your own webspace. The software does it for you, and they're hosted on Blogger. You just click on the pic, write a caption if you like, and click ..and it's right on your blog, like magic.It's a heck of a lot easier. I may post a lot more pics now..you've been warned! lol

I bought myself a new camera, cuz my other one got dropped and it doesn't want to work anymore. It's not the one I wanted, cuz I couldn't afford the one I wanted at the moment..but it takes pretty good pictures. I uploaded some of them that I took this weekend below. We had a birthday party for my Dad and my sister, and I got to ride in Drew's new truck. I've never been in a big truck before, even though my dad drove trucks for years. It was pretty kewl! Makes it kinda hard to find a parking space tthough.

My little bitty baby brutha Drew!

This is a picture I took out my bedroom window of the church across the street.

Jazmine..looking out the window.

Here's a picture of Belle laying on my bed.

My baby brother, Drew, is in town this weekend. He gave me a ride to Di's in his brand new truck.

We went to J's brother's today, and John was there. He bummed a cigarette and gave me the finger..charming ain't he!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Phuque You Frances!

I'm baaaaaaaack. After four days without power, thanks to that fuckhead Frances, I am finally back. I have power. I have AC! I have T-E-L-E-V-I-S-I-O-N and a stove and frig that work.. YIPPEE. I still smell like a sweaty sock.. but I can take a shower now...and do my laundry. Even though there was pretty good breezes blowing outside from the storms, and we opened the windows and doors, it was still humid inside. Then when it wasn't raining and the sun came out, it was hotter than the devil's ass in here, and there was nothing to do but sit and swelter. My power went out Sunday afternoon, and for the past four days I've been sitting here, sweating my ass off in the dark, eating tuna, peanut butter, and pop tarts, and doing lots and lots of reading. I could have been playing games and stuff on my new toy, my Zire 72 has Bejeweled and a few other games on it, but J doesn't know how to read and he was bored, so I had to let the baby play with it so he wouldn't whine. I couldn't get online with it, although it has AIM and AOL on it, because to connect I"d have to use my cell phone for the bluetooth and it really runs down the power on both of them, and there was no way to recharge them so I had to try to conserve the power. The thing that really pissed me off is that the streets all around us had power, and the main streets, and everyone I know had power..and the people across the street have a generator, so they had power...and we sat here in the dark, burning candles. I didn't even own a radio, at least one that was battery operated, so I had to go out Monday to WallyWorld and buy a boom box and stock up on batteries and candles, and buy some food that didn't need to be cooked or refrigerated. We went out Sunday night in the storm, after it had calmed down some, because we had nothing good to eat in the house, even though I figured there was no way anything would be open. I thought maybe we could find a gas station or something open and grab some snacks. I was expecting to find nobody out, and things closed down, and trees knocked down, etc. When we turned the corner onto the main street we're off of, they had power, and on the main road, University Boulevard, everything was open, as if nothing was going on, and there were people everywhere. It was like, storm? what storm? So, we went to Friendly's and had dinner, and then returned back to our dark, hot house and went to sleep. I wasn't freakin too much, at this point, because I figured the power would be back on probably by morning, or at some point the next day at the latest.. HAHAHAHA. Monday, we went to WallyWorld for the supplies, and then to my mom's so I could use her for her electricity to recharge the cell phones and the Zire and stuff, and then we decided to go to Di's for a cookout. We had a good time, and ate, and hung out, until it was time to go home..and that sucked. But, J had to get home kinda early because he had to get up for school, so off we went. I was kinda pissed off that we had to leave, because I didn't want to go back to the house and sit in the dark, and I told him that the school was going to be closed, more than likely, and I ended up being right. Of course, when we were getting ready to leave from Di's, it started pouring down rain in buckets and storming like crazy...and then the car died. We had left the lantern charging in the car and it drained the battery..plus the alternator is going anyway, which didn't help. We had to wait for the rain to stop, so they could go out and jump the car. That was okay with me, cuz that meant I got to stay there a little longer, and wouldn't have to come here and be bored. I actually thought about staying at Di's. There was no reason to come home, since I couldn't work anyway, but I decided just to come home because of the dogs. Now, the car won't even start, even with a jump, so it's parked at the scool, and he's having to get rides. It needs an alternator, from what J says, and guess who is going to end up paying for that! I really, really don't want to, and it pisses me off, but I have a lot of things I need to do within the next week or so, and I need the car running so I can get to the airport on the 16th. If I don't pay to fix the car, he won't be able to get it fixed til the end of the month sometime, and I can't wait that long. He will be paying me back though, you can bet on that, by the end of the month. The good thing about this whole mess is, except for the power being out, and me not being able to work for four days, there was no damage done to the house at all. Noone I know had any major damage done, though our yards are covered in leaves and twigs, and fallen branches..and the pool is gonna need some major cleaning. We had one huge limb that fell off a tree in the yard, but it didn't hit anything. The yard was flooded and muddy, like a dang swamp, but the sun came out today and the puddles are already gone. I guess we should be happy that the worst thing that happened was that I couldn't watch TV or get online for a few days, and I got a few days off of work, where I had to rest and got lots of sleep. I don't want to do it again, and I think I may be buying a generator, but it could have been much worse. Now, we wait to see what happens if Ivan heads this way.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

You know you're getting old when...

- You start complaining that "They're building car seats too
low!"

- Your ears perk up when a laxative commercial comes on TV.

- You call the place you keep leftovers the "icebox."

- You start videotaping daytime game shows.

- You spend more time on the menu than the waitress.

- You know "where it's at", but forgot why it's there.

- You know how to spell gastroenterologist.

- You don't have any enemies because you've outlived them
all.

- You don't date women your own age, because there aren't any.

- "Happy Hour" now consists of a nap.

- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't
work.

- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been
anywhere.

- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

- You look forward to a dull evening.

- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

- Your back goes out more than you do.

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

- Someone just told you that Old MacDonald sold his farm
in 1942.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Saturday, August 28, 2004

WTF!?

Ya know what's phuqued up?! It's bad enough that when I pay 80.00+ a month for cable TV, I have to sit through a zillion commercials in my home, but now you get commercials no matter what ya do! Sit down at your computer, and you get bombarded with stupid POS popup ads for crap you don't want and don't need. You have to go find a special program and install it on your computer, simply to make it possible to surf without having to stop every 3 seconds to kill a phuqing popup! Don't even get me started on the massive amounts of SPAM that finds its way into my email every day of the week...sheesh! Then, it used to be when you buy a video, you'd get the previews for other movies at the beginning of some of them, but you can fast forward through them if you aren't interested, and at least they're entertaining, and it's sorta like going to a regular movie..but now, you buy a DVD and there's commercials on some of them, too! Com-phuqing-mercials on your damn DVDs! I paid for the DVD..why I gotta watch a commercial? Now..if all this aint bad enough, they're playing G-Damn commercials at the freaking movie theaters. Yeah! Com-damn-phuqing-mercials at the start of a movie in the dang theater. WTF?! Now, along with your previews and the singing hotdog, and the please turn off your cell phones and be quiet type stuff.. you gotta watch Fanta commercials, car commercials, and ads telling me to Be All That I Can Be and join the service.. what kinda crap is that?! I paid 8.00 for my ticket, and another 12.00 for popcorn and sodas..don't they make enough damn money, without making us sit through ads too? Okay.. I'm done ranting now.. we now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Bah HAH HAH HAH

During the course of my job as an MT (medical transcriptionist, for those who don't know) I often come across new medical terms for drugs, diseases, surgical instruments, etc. Most days, this is pretty boring and tends not to be any big deal.. Today, I came across a new surgical instrument I'd never heard of before during transcription of a colphorrhaphy called.. are ya ready.. a Beaver retractor.. for a colporrhaphy (surgical repair of the vagina).. a retractor for your beaver.. hahaha. I know, I'm an idiot.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Just Me Again

Slacking, slacking, slacking.. yeah, that's pretty much me here lately. I don't know where my time goes, but it sure as hell has been flying lately. It's 3 weeks and counting til I'm outta here, and I can't wait. I have been working hard trying to make lots of cash so I'll have some money to blow at the fair while I'm up there. I'm so excited about being able to go to the fair. I haven't been in 10 years. We're going on Friday, so I'll get to see Heart. I've seen them in concert before, and it was a great show, so I'm pretty happy about that. I kinda wish J was coming with me, only so he could go to the fair, cuz he'd really like it...but I'll try to enjoy myself without him. LOL Well, not much has been going on around here, so not much exciting to blog about. He took me to a movie on Friday night, to see I, Robot, and I really liked it. I especially liked Will Smith in his undies, and nekkid in the shower...whoohooo. Good movie! Oh yeah, the story was pretty good too, and the robots were neat to watch. So, that's pretty much it for now. It's back to work for me.. work work work.. I think I need me one of them sugar daddies.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Birthday Week Update

Well, my birthday week is almost over, and not much exciting happened. Di took me out on Saturday night to Dave's for beer and kareoke, and we had a great time. We had cake and ice cream and dinner at her house first with the family, and then we went out after her ex picked up the kids. J, of course, couldn't be bothered to come to her house to do "the birthday thing" with me. He did buy me roses, though. Then, he bitched when I got home late. I told him to go screw though, cuz I was out celebrating my birthday with my family and people who give a shit, and if he was worried about what time I got home, he shoulda got off his dead behind and came over there with me. I think he figured he was gonna get lucky cuz he bought me flowers..pffffffffft. The kareoke part was a lot of fun. I'm getting a little more comfortable with it, now that I've done it a couple times. There were a few people who were actually pretty good. I even got up and sang alone, and we sang a bunch of times together. Well..actually, I didn't go up there by myself, because I'm chicken, but Di went up with me and stood there while I sang. There was some major flirting going on with me and a couple guys in the table in front of us, and this one guy was hitting on Di pretty hard, but unfortunately it didn't go beyond flirting, and we never really got together to talk, because I do have J. As long as he's here, regardless of the state of our relationship or lack thereof, I won't go messing with anyone else. I told him to get the phuque out last night, cuz he pissed me off a whooooole lot. He's waiting to find out if they are going to hire him on full time as a regular employee at the school, and I sure hope they do. Maybe if he's making some money, he'll realize he doesn't need me anymore and leave me. Hope springs eternal.

I'm still waiting for the appraiser people to call me about appraising the house, so I can get my financing done, but its been about two weeks now. I was glad it took a while really, cuz I had a bitch of a time getting someone to cut the grass on the empty lots, and our mowers are busted. I got the electric walk behind mower back today, it's finally fixed, but the ride-on is still busted. That one is next. I ended up having to pay a guy up the street $80.00 to mow the lots and my yard. The grass was pretty damn high though, so I didn't think that was a bad price. After calling all over and trying to find someone who would cut it for a decent price, I ended asking Mack to do it, because he was sitting out in front of my house on his lawn mower. People around here ride their mowers up and down the street, for some reason. It's very odd, but it worked out well for me. This is a really nice neighborhood people-wise. Everyone is really friendly and they all know each other, and watch out for each other. DeWitt, the guy who fixed my mower, doesn't even really know me and he fixed it for me and just charged me for the parts. It's a nice change from the other places I've lived down here, where I never really talked to most of my neighbors, and the few times I did, I ended up regretting it. I plan to be here for a while.... if I can get my house bought. I should know more in the next week or so, and once we get the appraisal done, it shouldn't be long before we can close. I hope they do it before I leave for Mass, but the way we're going, it could be Christmas before it gets done.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Not That I'm Complainin'...

Okay, it's almost 2:00 a.m...where are the winds? where are the pounding rains and the howling gales? Why is my roof not being ripped from the walls? What happened to the brutal winds that "sound like a train coming"? By now, I expected to be hovering in the corner, trying not to go near the windows, hoping they wouldn't shatter and spray glass and debris around my room. I was expecting to be sitting in the dark with my flashlight, with no power and no phone. Pfffffffft. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I like my walls without trees poking through them, and I am glad that nothing got destroyed, and noone got hurt. I wasn't looking forward to not having electricity either, because I really do need to work tonight and tomorrow, and I would hate to lose the time and get behind on stuff, but damn it.. I expected something! Anything! The storm, apparently, did just as I expected it to do, just as they always do. It went in a different direction, and turned out towards the ocean. It went right around us. They usually seem to do that...just pass us by. Jacksonville must just be in a great location, and major storms don't like to come this way. I guess some places got winds and lots of rain out by the beach, but we got nothing but some rain. Not even very heavy rain, at that. So, I guess I'll just continue working tonight and get stuff done, and hope the next two storms they say are forming follow the path of this one and go right by. At least the next time, I won't have to run around and find batteries and stuff, I got the lantern thingy and enough water to last a while. Good thing I drink a lot of water every day anyway. On the upside, J actually bought me dinner tonight, that was different! I'm loaning him some money next week so he can take two certificatioin tests he needs to take for school. I normally wouldn't give him money, seeing as I'm already supporting his ass, but he says he's pretty positive he can pass them both, and if he does there is a strong chance he'll have a job that he can start right away, even though he doesn't graduate until December, He'll make 45,000.00 a year. ..or so he claims. This would be spectacular for me in two ways, first because he can then give me some cash..then, the best part, he claims if he gets a good job he's moving out. He claims this house is too small, and he wants a bigger house. He says I can move with him and rent this place out ...(yeah, RIGHT!) or he'll go without me.. breaks my heart, really, it does. I ain't going nowhere. Not that I won't miss him.. once in a while.. but, I'll have to try and make it through without him...somehow. Wheeeeeeeeee. There's no way to know whether he'll go right away, or if he'll wait for a while before he goes. Only time will tell, but I think it's worth the 240.00 investment either way.

Friday, August 13, 2004

A STORM'S A-BREWING

Busy day today. We've been running around like crazy people, trying to find stuff to get ready for the big storm heading this way, and Im freakin'. Hurricane Charlie is headed this way, and they're predicting big winds and lots of rain. I, of course, waited until the last minute to decide to freak out, and run out and try to find water and batteries and stuff. Nobody had D batteries ANYWHERE..so we have flashlights with no batteries, and I couldn't find water, flashlights, or anything else I wanted. We ended up stopping at a Pep Boys auto place, and they actually had water and a 10000 candlepower ..or something like that.. lantern. SCORE! So, I have candles, I have water, we filled up the tub, I got tape for my windows, we bought ice in case the power goes out to keep the food cold. I think we're all set.. as long as the roof doesn't blow off or get crushed by a falling tree. I may be crouched in a closet or sitting in the doorway for the majority of the night. Mom and dad went to Di's for the night, because they live in the mo-bile home, and we didn't want them to blow away. We were going to do the same thing, but we decided to stay here, because of the puppies and kitties. They're gonna freak out enough with us here, if they were alone I can imagine how freaked out they'll be. Eric is here for the night now, too. They live in a really crappy mobile home in Sin City, and he was scared to stay there. I just hope this thing goes by and nobody gets hurt. The thing that really sucks, aside from the destruction and impending power outages I'm sure we're in for, is me and Di were supposed to go out tomorrow night for my birthday to do some kareoke and get drunk, and if it doesn't stop storming, we won't be able to go out. That's the real tragedy in the whole thing, really. My birthday is Monday. I'm not expecting big things. I know I won't get anything from J, Di will take me out and pay for my drinks, and mom and dad will give me cash. woohoooo. I guess the good thing is, I get cake. Cake is good. Happy birthday to me.. big whoop. Yesterday, we got part of the other storm that went through, and a tornado touched down a few blocks from my house. I had no clue, until my mom called to see if I blew away or not. It took the air conditioning unit and part of the roof off a restaurant, and knocked down trees and power lines.. all that happened here is it rained really hard and the winds blew a little hard. I'm hoping that Charlie does the same thing. A few years ago, they predicted this huuuuuge hurricane was coming through here, and we evacuated and drove a few hours away to stay in a hotel cuz we were so scared. It was gonna be this big, huge storm with massive destruction.. it was a complete dud! I'm hoping this one turns out to be the same way. I guess I'll go finish battening down the hatches, just in case, and pray that my power doesn't go out..and my roof doesn't blow off.

JOKE FOR YA!
Whats the difference between a hurricane and a redneck divorce.. ?

Either way, someone's fixin to lose a trailer.

Okay, so I think I told that one before, but it's still pretty funny.