Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I'm Spittin' Fire!!
I got a call from one of my best friends tonight, and she was crying. She had it out with her husband/ex-husband tonight, and he said something really hurtful to her, and I'm so freakin pissed about it, if I see him, it just may be all I can do not to punch him square in the face. This man has put her through so much crap in the 9 years I've known them, he's hurt her repeatedly, and she keeps giving him chance after chance. In December, he started going out to her house a lot, being real nice, romancing her, and convinced her that he was sorry for everything and he wanted to try to get back together. I told her she was crazy, and reminded her, gently, of the things he's done, but I told her I know she won't have any peace with herself unless she gives it one last try to find out for sure if it's completely hopeless or not. Who am I to say don't give him a chance, as many chances as I've given J. I don't even pretend to be in love with him, and I still take him back, so all I can do is be supportive. So, she took his sorry ass back. He's been living there in her house, on her 22 acres of land, with her horses and all the things she's worked her ass off to get. He gets to spend time with their son and her, enjoying life, and not paying anything beyond his child support, etc. So, basically, living free while she busts her ass trying to support not only her child and her usual burdens, but now him on top of it. He has bills to pay..so he can't afford to pay more. This man makes some pretty good money, he's not working at K-Mart or anything. Well, anyway, they were having a few problems, and he's started disappearing for long periods of time and they haven't had sex since he's been there. She knows he has a pretty good sex drive, so she was suspicious, and she confronted him about it. I don't know how the whole conversation went, but during the course of it, he had the big brass balls to tell her that he can't bring himself to have sex with her because her body repulses him. He's tried, but he cant' do it. Now, this woman is not skinny..and she may have gained a few pounds over the last couple years, but she's not some big fat cow or anything. It's not like she's obese by any means. He just likes these little skinny, skanky looking things, and that's not her. That's fine..everyone has their preferences, but the thing that burns my ass is, it isn't like she has changed in the few months since they got back together. She's never been skinny since I've known her, so it isn't like she's changed. He knew what she looked like, and he convinced her that he wanted to be with her. He wanted a free ride. The thing that really pissed me off was the fact that he told her no man would want her because she's disgusting. I went OFF!!! when she told me that. It took all I had not to call him and tell him what a low life scum piece of shit he is. He really crushed her. Who wouldn't be devastated when the man you spent 13 years of your life with, who has done everything he's done to her, and she trusted him yet again, says something like that to you. I, of course, told her it wasn't true and did my best to reassure her that he was just a fuck-head piece of shit, who, by the way, is no Mr. America himself, and those are his hangups and his feelings, and there are plenty of guys who like a woman to have a little meat... and that she's not fat, he's just a prick. I've been to bars with her, and I've seen plenty of guys flirt with her and hit on her, and I reminded her of that, too. I told her if she didn't believe me, she's been to bars with me and seen all the guys who hit on me. She's not near as heavy as I am, and there are guys who still hit on me..so, certainly, she's not such a disgusting hog that no man would be interested. I just can't believe that he would say that to her, and put her through this shit, yet again. I don't know what she's going to do, if she'll make him leave or let him stay there, but I told her to put his shit on the porch and change the locks when he goes to work tomorrow. That's what I would do! J may be an asshole sometimes, and we have our problems, but he has never, ever said one thing about my body being undesireable, and even if he stopped desiring me, he would never be that cruel. I just hope she throws his ass out and goes about finding herself a man... or two ..just so he can see how very wrong he is, and how many men there are out there who know the value of a good woman with a good heart..regardless of the size of her ass.