Thursday, March 25, 2004

PSA #201

Trying to have sex while watching David Letterman is not advised. Studies have shown that it somewhat ruins the mood when your partner is doin' stuff to your naughty bits, expecting to hear oohs and aahs of pleasure, but instead hears laughter. That can somewhat injure a man's confidence, I'm told. Even though you explain that it's not him, but actually Dave's monologue that has you tittering, he may still be offended by the fact that you are not engrossed in the passion of the moment, but instead listening and being distracted by Dave's sketch about the Medicare system replacing prescription drugs with tic tacs..or Lifesavers or whatever it was. I have for years heard jokes about people making love with Johnny Carson or Dave or Jay in the background, but it really is not conducive to romance or passion, and can cause your partner to have doubts about his lovemaking abilities. My advice is that you turn off Dave, and concentrate on the task at hand. Some soothing music..maybe some love songs.. or Bolero..really, whatever gets you in the mood..is more appropriate, and may serve to enhance your enjoyment of the act, and will keep your partner from threatening to take his toys and go home, since you obviously are more interested in the T.V. than anything he is doing to you at the moment. To further heighten the mood, you may also add some pleasantly scented candles, maybe a feather duster, or a little whipped cream.. but, leave the T.V. off, and for Gawd's sake take off your socks! Thank you, that is all.

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