Monday, May 31, 2004

What I Heard...

Unconscious Mutterings:

  1. Lover:: Secret
  2. Ridiculous:: Funny
  3. Oscar:: Nomination
  4. Tennis:: Ball
  5. Account Balance:: Zero, nada, zippo
  6. Hickey:: Anywhere but the neck.
  7. License:: to drive
  8. Breathmints:: peppermint
  9. TexMex:: burritos
  10. Stepmother:: Wicked

Friday, May 28, 2004


I soooo need a life. If I had a life, and someone who knew how to have fun, or was willing to do something different once in a while, I could go down to Jax Beach tonight for the Moonlight Movie and watch Jaws outside on the big screen at the beach. Then this weekend, I could go to the Music Festival and see Edwin McCain and Train, and I forget who else is playing...for free..with fireworks and stuff and drink beer, and listen to some music under the stars, down by the river...or go to Landing and listen to the band down there, sit outside on the patio at Hooters or one of the other restaurants/bars there, and drink beer or some frozen tropical concoction, and eat wings..and maybe, if the mood strikes, get up and dance a bit. Then maybe take a nice moonlit stroll along the River Walk.. Then, if I had a life, Sunday or Monday, I could head out to Palatka for the Blue Crab Fest..for more music, beer, and some serious crab eating and carrying on.. well, that's what I'd do if I had a life..but since I don't, I have big plans to sit home and ..what ELSE!!?, of course.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

The Top 10 Signs That ...

The Top 10 Signs That You Enjoyed The Music of the 80's A
Little Too Much

10) Your men's jogging group is called Dexy's Midnight

9) Most people call them Cops; You call them Der Kommissar.

8) You were genuinely saddened by the loss of Falco earlier
this year.

7) You have spent part of an evening wondering whatever
happened to the Mary Jane Girls.

6) You go to your favorite bar and order a Funky Cold Medina.

5) You dream of a comeback tour involving Winger, Poison,
Skid Row and Whitesnake.

4) You still get an erection everytime you hear the words
"Debbie Gibson."

3) Even though Paula Cole refuses to shave her pits, you
believe that Joan Jett could still whip her ass.

2) You catch a sexually transmitted disease that gives you
burning sensation when you pee and you immediately name
it "St. Elmo's Fire."

1) You've been caught dancing in a grocery store aisle while
lip syncing to something by Rick Astley over the store's
muzak stereo system.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Just Stuff

I know, I know, I'm slacking in a major way on my posting. I haven't had much going on, and I have a whole list of topics to blog about that I plan to get to, but I keep putting them off. I'll get to them eventually. I guess I'm still in the middle of my spring fever. Actually, I've been kind of busy, too. I'm working on trying to get my credit cleaned up so I can get the financing for the house. I'm thinking of painting my kitchen, living room, and bathroom, so I've been looking at paint samples and decorating type stuff. Also, I need want to replace the white tile bathroom floor. They've GOT TO GO. White bathroom floors are not something you need when you have 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a slobby boyfriend. I've been contemplating what I want to do, and trying to decide my priorities as far as what I want to work on the house, as well as some other life issues. For instance, I desparately want a pool!! I'm talking d-e-s-p-a-r-a-t-e-l-y. So, I think I should wait til I get the financing set and get the house in my name before I make plans for a pool. That way I don't have to worry about having permission from Danny, or what anybody else says and stuff. But.. I really want one right now. Then again, I really want an inground pool, but I would have to have it financed. I would have another monthly expense. There's no way I can do that until I get the house financing set, so my debt ratio doesnt get screwed up and stuff. So, I'm thinking maybe I can get an above ground for the time being, and maybe work on saving some money towards the inground, and maybe in a year or two get the inground put in. I'd be fine with an above ground. But, then I'd want a deck and either way I go, I'd want a pool enclosure over it, to keep out the bugs and leaves and stuff. I hate crap floating in my pool. That's a lot of expense for something i'll only have a year or two.. soooo, I dont know what to do. To make matters worse, Jenny, the girl I'm training in transcription, just found a house to rent that she's moving into this weekend with a big inground pool..I'm sooo jealous, I'm dying. I'm happy for her, because she's delirious about it, but I'm still jealous. I WANT ONE. I'm not jealous of the 850.00 a month she's gonna pay for rent, but I'd pay that much for a place with a pool too. I keep telling myself that I don't need one really, they're a pain to maintain and keep clean, and it's a lot of extra expense I don't need, with the pool payments and chemicals and extra electricity use..but, so far, I'm not buying it. I have a whole list of other things I want and need to do, and no time or money to do them at the moment. GRRRRRRRR. The really bad thing is, I got paid yesterday and my check was about 1000.00 less than I expected..yeah..that's quite a lot to be missing. They claimed they didn't get my invoice for last pay period, and nobody called me to tell me, they just didn't pay me. I'll get a double check on the 10th. I'm pretty much utterly fucked. All I got paid for was my bonuses .. a whole 485.00..whoopee! I already sent out my rent check, and that's got to be paid by the 1st, I got my cell bill, and my student loan payments and a few other things that all came out or will be trying to come there will be some major bouncing going on around here. There ain't a thing I can do about it either.. just kiss a hundred dollars or more in bounce fees bye bye. So, I have a lot going on in my head, and not much time to post at the moment.. but I'll be better shortly.. I hope.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Weekend Stuff

I don't know where my time goes lately. I had big plans for posting this weekend, but it just didn't seem to ever happen. How do people who post 5 and 10 times a day every day do it? I just don't know. I had this big, huge long rant written Saturday night about J and how pissed off I was at him. We had a pretty big blowout, that I'll get to later, but I never posted the rant because I still have that paranoia that he will end up here someday, and a lot of what I had to say would have been pretty hurtful to him if he reads it. I saved it though, so I may post it on the new blog soon. I'm still deciding which way to go with that one before I launch it. So, it's pretty much still blank.

My weekend in a nutshell pretty much consisted of working on Saturday and being on the phone. I talked to half the world on Saturday. And then I slept. I've been sleeping a lot lately. I can't seem to stay awake. Catching up, I guess.

Sunday my sister picked me up about 12:00 and we went back to her house and hung around in her pool for a couple of hours just catching up and chatting about everything under the sun. Mostly about me and J, the family, her (happy) lack of a man...just your usual BS really. Then, we decided to go to Sam's but we didn't really go there, we decided to go see a movie instead. We went to see "13 Going on 30" that was a really cute movie. It was so nice to hang out with my sister, and to get to go to a movie I really wanted to see with someone who appreciated it. I can't go to girlie movies with J, so when we go to a movie it always ends up being something he wants to see. We pick the movies together, and it's always something I'd like to see, too, but there's usually 2 or 3 movies I'd like to see more that we don't ever get to see because he's not interested. Actually, if I said I wanted to go to one of them, he'd go with me, but he'd sit there through the whole thing obviously bored and poke fun at it, so it's not worth it to even bother. Consequently, about 90% of the the movies I really, really want to see have to wait until they hit the stores. I did really like the movie though. I thought it was going to be more of a teenage-y type movie, but it wasn't. I did want to see Mean Girls, but maybe we'll see that next time. We want to go see Raising Helen cuz we both love Kate Hudson and there's a few more we'd like to see, like that "Day after sunthin" disaster movie I can never remember the name of, so maybe we'll make this a regular thing. I didn't tell J we ended up at the movies, cuz I'd never hear the end of going to a movie without him. It's pretty pathetic, I know, and I was tempted to tell him just because it's pretty much bullshit that I'm 37 and have to hide the fact that I went to a movie with my sister from a grown man so he won't whine...or worse, bitch! because I didn't take him with me. I just didn't want to hear it. It's better to avoid the drama altogether and just not mention it.

AFter the movie, we went to Wally World, cuz she needed a few things and I needed some cat food and TP..and of course I found more stuff to buy. Cuz I'm talented like that. I got this huge..I mean HUGE "monster size mug" for my water. It's a 64-ouncer, and it's white with a water theme, with all kinds of water facts on it. I've been really slacking on drinking my water for a while now, and I need to get it back up to the right amount. I've been lucky to get 3 or 4 glasses a day lately, and have been drinking Diet Coke with Lime, sweet tea, or lemonade or Kool Aid, so I got this huge mug and I filled it up to the brim this morning, and I'm about halfway through it for today. I also bought a Crest Spinbrush, cuz I needed a new toothbrush, and I really, really love it. I've brushed my teeth about 6 times today already..LOL I'd been thinking about getting one for a while, but kept putting it off, thinking that I really didn't need a battery operated toothbrush, and maybe I wouldn't like it, but my teeth feel so sparkly and clean, I can't believe I waited this long to get one. I just may go brush em again! I got a few other things, but nothing exciting. Well, that was pretty much the extent of my big exciting weekend.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Shoot me, please!

J told me this morning that his nephew, John, might be losing his apartment. He has to come up with $300 or he'll be out. I'm hoping that his dad or someone will give him the $300, or he'll figure something out. If he doesn't get it, and he loses his place, I'm hoping he'll decide to move in with his granny or his dad..or anyone else but us! I know, this is my place, I own this house, and I can just say no if it comes down to it. He has a mom, a grandmother, and a father, all with homes he can stay in. I assume he has friends. But, if he comes to me and asks if he can stay here, I'll break down and let him. Even though I really, really don't want him to. I like having my house be quiet, and not having someone sprawled out on my sofa every night. I like walking around in my undies, and not having to wear clothes to bed. Plus, I feel bad that he has to sleep on the sofa and I don't have a spare room for him to sleep in. I know, I'm demented. It's not my fault. It's not my responsibility. Why should I be inconvenienced? I am not responsible for the well-being of the everyone else. I just hate to see people unhappy or in trouble. He's just 19, and he's been through a lot. Again, not my fault, but I still feel like he's my nephew as much as J's, and I know what it's like to be young and need help. I'm crossing my fingers and praying, at this point, that I don't have to worry about it. Maybe he'll decide he doesn't want to live here, and he'd rather go to his mom's or granny's, because he says me and J argue too much, and J is a pain in the ass. Pray for me!!!!!!

The Pain! The Pain! Make it STOP!

There ain't a freakin' thing to watch on TV tonight. I wasn't in the mood to watch the WB's Superstar thing, so I went channel surfing and came upon "The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour" with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. OWWWWWWWWW..My Gawd is that some painful shit to watch! I've never seen the Newlyweds show, but I have heard all about the stupid things Jessica says. I think she's pretty, I think he's puuuuuurty. I think they both can sing well. Okay, I'll give them that. Parts of the show are funny and they look good together, but I had to watch Jessica stand next Jewel and try to sing "Who Will Save Your Soul" like Jewel does, and it had me cringing. She didn't sound bad, but to watch her face contortions and her chicken-like body movements..ewww. That's what it is, really. She reminds me of a chicken..and a stupid chicken at that.

Friday, May 21, 2004

The Golluminator

I'll Be Back, my precious
It's an absolutely beautiful day here in Jacksonville today. The sun is shining and it's gonna be about a gazillion degrees, which makes me happy that I work at home and inside where the AC works really well. I don't have to go out and drive anywhere and be out there in the heat. I went and sat on my deck this morning for a little bit when I let the dogs out, and it's so nice and peaceful out there early in the morning, when nobody is really out and about yet, and the sun is beaming down onto the grass. I sit on my swing and rock slowly back and forth. It's so funny to watch Jazmine, because she'll go out and just immediately find a spot in the sun and plop down on the grass. Sometimes she rolls over with her legs in the air and lets the sun shine on her belly. She knows. like the rest of us, that there ain't nuthin' like the warmth of the sun on your belly. Personally, my belly hasn't seen the sun in a looong time, because I don't want to scare the neighbors. It is nice to have the sun shining and to have it be so nice out, but it really doesn't do much to help me, in terms of feeling antsy. I'm still feeling very bored and unsettled about my life, and wanting to go out and do things. Having it be so nice out, makes it so much harder to sit here and concentrate on work and boring crap. J is working today, but he should be home soon, and he never wants to do anything I want to do. He says I'm boring, and I don't want to do anything, but what it is, is that I don't want to do the things he wants to do. I want to do stuff that's fun. I have noone to do it with though, so I guess I might as well just sit here and resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be bored for eternity, and get some work done.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Big Switch!

OMG. I'm watching the final Bachelor and I had a feeling that it would be Jessica he chose, and then when the first limo drove up and she stepped out of it, I thought that I was wrong..cuz it's ALWAYS the first one out of the limo gets the boot. But he pulled a big switch and picked the first ho outta the limo. How did THAT happen?? Poor Tara was out there yacking in the limo, all nervous and sick, and then she had to go in and get the boot while Jessica waited upstairs for her man. How awkward is that? Excuse me darlin', I have a heart to break before we can walk off into the sunset. Guess ya just never know what's gonna happen til it happens.
I just got back from my final checkup at the doctor, and he says I'm going to live. Nothing has to be lopped off and sent to the lab or anything. My ears are all pink, shiny, and healthy again. I didn't even have to pay a co-pay, which I thought was fairly decent of them. Yippee for me! It was nice getting to spend time with my sis, we don't get to see much of each other, and I always enjoy getting to see her. We went to the doc, then she carted me to Albertson's so I could spend all my money on a bunch of garbage. I don't think I did too bad, actually. Most of what I got was on sale, and I only bought one package of Oreos for J and some Ben & Jerry's lowfat yogurt for "junk food", so I didn't think that was too bad of me, especially since not too long ago I would have just bought a 12-pack of cupcakes and ate them all by tomorrow...all by myself! I got some water and a 12-pack of Diet Coke with Lime..yuuuum..and some very sweet, really yummy watermelon. I haven't been sticking to any kind of diet lately, I haven't been too bad or eating a bunch of junk, I just haven't been specifically dieting. But I'm getting back on to the whole healthy eating kick again slowly. I've been eating salad every day for lunch and trying to watch what I eat. My sis says she's on this diet and she's lost 10 pounds in a couple weeks, but she eats no meat or dairy, and no processed foods or white bread. She eats brown rice, lots of veggies, beans, etc. Sounds pretty boring to me. I don't want to try to go on any diet that I know I can't follow for the long haul, and that sounds like one I'd have a really hard time with. I asked her about going out Friday, but she said she has to work on Saturday, so we might do a movie on Sunday. That gives me something to look forward to, anyway. It's nice to think about actually being able to get out of this house and do something ..out there..with the 3-dimensional people. I did kinda want to go out and do some kareoke and get a good drunk going, but I guess we can do that another night. Now, I gotta go take a nap. I'm beat!


I don't know where the heck my time is going lately. It just seems like there's not enough hours in my day, and I'm not doing anything. I've got nothing going on, but I still can't seem to get anything done. I have barely had time to post, I haven't gotten much work done, I don't know what it is. All I do know, is I'm so very, very bored with my life right now. I don't know if it it's spring fever or what, but I'm very restless and agitated, and being really snippy with J, and I can't concentrate on much of anything. He's getting on my nerves, and it's not even really his fault. He's actually been trying to be nice and helpful, he gave me money, and hasn't been bitching alot or anything. He's just one of the things that rubs me the wrong way. My sister wanted me to go out with her last night, but I had to work because I am falling behind, and that kinda irritated me. It was all I could not to say phuque it and just go out and party with her. She wanted to go do some kareoke at Dave's. I never go out anymore, and I think that's part of what's irritating me. It seems like all I ever do is sit home, watch T.V., and work, and it's starting to get really depressing. It seems like the only place I ever go anymore is Wally World or the grocery store. I'm thinking I'm gonna see if maybe she wants to go out on Friday, and I'll go out and get drunk and have some fun. I'll go embarrass myself and do some kareoke. I've only ever gotten up and actually sang maybe once or twice, but if she'll get up and sing with me I'll do it. Today, I have to go to the doctor for my final check on my ear infection, and I really don't want to go. It's a waste of my $15.00 co-pay, since I can tell it's healed and I took all my meds and stuff. But, on the other hand, my sis is coming to fetch me to take me over there, and it will at least get me out of the house. I have to go to the grocery store (where else?!) while I'm out anyway, so I guess I might as well just go to the doctor and get it over with.

On a good note, I hooked my TiVO back up last night YEAH!! I have missed my TiVO. I love my TiVO. I unplugged it shortly after I moved here since I only have basic crap cable, and I was planning to get the full cable turned back on but I still haven't done it yet. I decided to wait until J starts paying me, because it's pretty expensive with the cable and the cable modem together every month. I figured it would give him incentive to start paying if he had to suffer through with the crap cable until he starts paying. So far, the plan hasn't been too successful. I didn't want to go through the whole download thing of changing my cable TV lineup, since I figured it wouldn't be that long before I would get it turned back on, so I've had it off. I couldn't take it anymore, so I said screw it and hooked that baby back up. Of course, it won't be long before I get the full cable turned back on, and I should have probably just waited, since J will be working again now and is supposed to start paying me every month, but that's okay. I TiVO'd the Gilmore Girls season finale and Law & Order SVU.. I LOVE that show. Gilmore Girls was soooo good! Sad, that you're life is so boring that watching Lorelai and Luke finally kiss makes you giddy. TV shouldn't make you giddy. LOL Plus, Rory gave it up to Dean..and I was so happy to see they got back together, even though he is married, and that she told Jesse to go screw, cuz I really can't stand him. It just made my night. I don't think I have a healthy level of involvement with my TV anymore. I definitely think I need to get out more.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Happy Monday!!

Gooooooood Morning!! It's bright and early on Monday morning, and here I am, getting ready to start work. Jen is coming today for training, after taking last week off. It was a nice, peaceful week, full of sleeping and loafing. Ahhhhhh...heaven. Of course, it would have been more like heaven had I not felt like complete crap and been able to do anything. But, ya can't have everything, right! I do feel better now, and maybe I'll actually feel like posting something interesting this week. Don't get your hopes up..but it could happen. I spent all day yesterday cleaning my room and my kitchen, and rearranging my house. My room is all nice and shiny and organized now. When I went to Wally World to get my new printer (which I also set up last night, and it works fab-u-lously..thank you!) I also bought a wire utility cart-type thingy and one of those cube-type shelf things that you put together. They're supposed to be for closet organizing, but they work great as regular shelves, and I organized and sorted the mounds of papers, books, magazines, and general crap that I had piled around my computer. You can see my desk now!! Yeah, there was one under there..who knew?! Now, I gotta get some work done and do some last minute stuff that needs done before Jenny gets here. I'm sure I'll be back later.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

It's Coming........

Let the countdown begin! Exactly 21 days left, and I can't wait. Ya know where I'll be on June 4, 2004?? Huh, do ya, huh? huh? If you don't know, I ain't gonna tell ya.

A Quick.. Did Ya Know?

Chocolate milk made with Nestle's Quik is the absolute best! No Hershey syrup for me.

Chocolate milk made with Nestle's Quik and a shot of Kahlua and vodka is soooo much better.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Pet Cemetary

There was a story on the local news tonight about a pet cemetary here in Florida that was just discovered to have been dumping the animals they were supposed to be burying "with dignity" in mass graves, bulldozed over with dirt, where the bones are now sticking out of the dirt, some are exposed to the sun. There's no telling how many pet owners these people took money from for loving burial, whose pets were then just dumped in a ditch, essentially. My first gut reaction was mild horror. How could they do that? How could they just dump people's poor puppies and kitties in a ditch to rot like that? People are all up in arms and now they're talking about investigating all of Florida's pet cemetaries. I do think these people should be made somehow to make it right with the people whose money they took for a service they didn't provide as promised, and the manner they buried these animals in wasn't right. They should have probably had their own space, with maybe a marker of some sort. But, really, as sad as it is to think of dead puppies and kitties dumped in a ditch, how many times have you had a dead kitty or beloved dog..or maybe even a goldfish...your best friend.. part of your family.. a pet you loved, that you took him out in the backyard when he died wrapped in a trash bag maybe, and buried him in the yard with no box or anything. Have you ever had to flush poor Moby down the toilet? I know I have. When Princess Fatass's cats would have sickly kittens..which was kinda often..and they would die, she would put them in a plastic grocery store bag, tie it up tight, and put them out in the trash, so they wouldn't get icky in the yard and have other animals digging them up. Unfortunately, if they died in the middle of the week and it wasn't close enough to trash day, she would put them in the freezer first...yeah.. really gross. But, the point is, people are acting like these pets should have been buried in little copper caskets with head stones, and to bury a pet any other way was a horror. At the animal shelters, sometimes they burn the animals they have to euthanize. What can ya do? If these people paid for extra care and were promised copper caskets and headstones, and they didn't get it, I'd sue their ass off, but other than that, I think maybe a fine for improper disposal of a dead animal..or maybe llegal dumping would suffice. But thats just me...

Wally World Adventures

Do you have to have proof you're a moron to work at Wally World, or do they just take your word for it? Last week, I went to the local Super Wally World up the road from me, and bought a new printer/fax/scanner combo deal. The box had been opened and retaped, and I thought maybe I shouldn't get it, but then I figured it was on the shelf, they probably tested it, I'm sure it would be fine. That's what I get for thinking! I came home, hooked it up, installed as per the instructions. I have installed several printers in my time, so I had it down. It FAXed. It scanned. It copied... it didn't print. Well, that's not true, exactly. It printed blobs of yellow and a sickly blue colored messes. Not anything recognizeable as a word or an object. So, yesterday I decided to call the store to see if they had any more in stock before I hauled my cookies all the way to the store to get a replacment. This store didn't have one, so I called the Normandy store. That's on the other side of town, near where I just moved from. Normandy said they didn't have one, they had been discontinued, but the did have one..just one.. of the next higher up model, the Lexmark X4250. I thought maybe I'll have them hold it, but then thought I'd check this store over here first. I called, and was told they didn't have any. None. I didn't want to call back Normandy, so I decided to just wait until today. Now, today I was fixin' to go to return the printer, and decided to call the Normandy store to be sure they hadn't sold the one printer they had before we drove all the way over there. It, of course, was gone. My next brilliant plan was to return the one I had and get the cash, then just go online and order the one I wanted and just wait for it to be delivered. I pack up the printer, go to the store, wait for the electronics guy to come down to the customer service center to give the printer the once over. Just to make sure I didn't buy the printer and keep any of the accessories and then bring it back and get the cash. That foiled my plan to get a free printer cartridge by returning it and keeping the cartridge.. curses! Once it was determined that I wasn't pilfering stuff, I decided to go back and just check out what they had in stock. Just in case they had an acceptable one I could get today, so I didnt have to wait for one to be delivered. Guess what! They had five of the Lexmark X4250 models on the shelf. Right there! In plain daylight. Now, I suppose it could be that they just happened to get a delivery in today, and that's why they actually did have some. Or, I suppose it could be that they didn't see them on the shelf when I called to ask yesterday. Maybe they wrote down the wrong number or something. could just be..that the lazy sob who answered the phone when I called last night and said they had none just didn't feel like walking his happy ass over two aisles down to actually check. I'm betting it was number 3. I got my printer, along with 50 pounds of Ol Roy dog food, a new collar for Belle, cuz she lost hers today (it's red with dog paws printed on cute) a new kitty bowl for the kitties, a new brush, a shelf for my room and a wire utility cart dealie to put magazines and all these papers and stuff I got piled around here in, some salad and fruit, and some Caress Silky Lustrous Skin body wash, the Shimmering Pearls type - I don't do bar's a new kind, and it smells all purty. I can't wait to take a shower so I can use it. I may just go take one when I finish this post, even though I took one just before I left the house.

Now, on the up side, we stopped at Mickey D's on the way out to grab some food. A young black girl..a McD's employee...came running up to me, scared the crap out of me, and asked me how old I thought she looked. I'm no good at the "how old do I look" game, so I usually don't play. I guessed she was about 19 and it turned out she was 17. She was happy that I told her she looked older, for some reason. So, I said, "How old do you think I look?" The girl said 23 and the counter dude said 26. I soooo love them. I told them they are now my new best friends. I wasn't going to tell them how old I actually was, but they were like, come on, ya gotta tell. When I said 37, both of their jaws dropped. I WIN! I love that look. As irritating as it is to get carded at 37, especially when you don't have your ID on you, I really hope I continue to make people get that look for a long, long time. Now.. I think I am going to go take that shower.

A Quick Joke

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

Either way, someone's fixin' to lose a trailer.
cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla"


What to do..what to do.. As you know, J recently stumbled on the fact that I have a blog. He hasn't seen this of yet, but I'm sure it may be just a matter of time before he does. Ya never know, right! He found the first one, he could totally end up here someday, and that wouldn't be pretty. I'm not always nice to him here, when he pisses me off and irritates me, which is pretty often. Knowing he could find this one, has totally made me self conscious about what I write, and made me not want to post so often, or write personal things so much. Not that I ever posted about anything extremely personal, I don't think, but I could if I wanted if there was no possibility of having to worry he might read it. Oddly enough, he's the only person in my real life I really, really don't want to read my blog. If my mom or my sister or a friend found it, I'd be a okay with that. I'm just not handing out the url, ya know. So, anyway..I went ahead and did as I was threatening to do, and got my own domain for my blog. I got it hosted for 30.00 a year, including MT installation, which isn't too shabby a price. I forget the name of the hosting company, but it's actually run by Blogger, from what I understand. I pretty much decided to keep this one going, because I like it here, and start the other blog under a completely different nickname. I'm still trying to come up with one I like. It' strange trying to come up with something that feels right, and fits me. It's like trying to fit into a new skin, and nothing seems right yet. I've been rolling a few of them around in my brain for a week or so now, and the only one that kinda works for me is Jazmine..after my dog. LOL It's really strange to me to have to come up with another online personality, essentially, since I've been JaxVenus, or some variation of Venus for as long as I've been online. This new one will have to be something completely different. Though, if I use Jazmine, it not only might make it awkward when I post about my dog, it also might make it possible for him to find me someday. It's not likely but it could happen. Maybe I'm being too paranoid, and it would be fine. I just know I really would rather he not have any access to my blog, not only for now, while we're together, in case I write something unflattering or particularly mean about him. Not that I would EVER do that. Also, if we ever broke up, I wouldn't want him reading about everything I do after he's gone. You need to have some things that are just about you, and this is one of them for me. I don't know, I'm gonna keep thinking about it, and see what I can come up with. I'm not going to put the url of the new blog here, for obvious security reasons, but when I do start posting there and get it set up, I'll tell people who need or want to know what the new one is.

The other problem is this. MT has started charging now, kinda a lot of money, apparently, for their new version. I haven't started posting using the MT as of yet, and now I'm wondering if I should go ahead and try one of the other programs available, like wordpress or pmachine or whatever, before I go ahead and get into it with MT, to avoid having to pay out all that money. I guess I could just stay with whatever version I have installed there already forever, and not worry about upgrading, but this is something I figure I should decide about right out of the box, before I get started on anything. I can't decide, and I'll have to check stuff out and decide. Problem is, if I decide to change to another one, I have no clue how to install a blog software, which is why I got a site with it included. I may be able to figure it out, I'm pretty smart like that sometimes, but maybe I can't. Then I'll have to pay someone to do it for me. Also, I have no clue how to make and install skins on MT, or any other system for that matter, and I'd like to make mine all pretty, but I don't want to put a whole bunch of cash into it. I have no clue how hard or how easy it is to do this. All of these questions are holding up the start of the new blog. So, anyway, I guess I'll just have to take some time and figure all of this out, so I can get stuff up and running. Decisions..decisions..

Thursday, May 13, 2004


I'm sitting here at my desk this morning, getting ready to get some work done. I really should be in bed, since I went to bed about 5:30 a.m. and got woken up at 7:00, but that's a whole nuther post entirely. Anyway, my point. I look to the left of me on the wall and see a flashing light reflected on my wall through the windows behind me. Being the nosy busybody that I am, I turned around and looked out my window to see some city workers across the street at the corner, taking down the street sign. They took the pole out of the ground, unscrewed the STOP sign from the pole, put a new STOP sign on the pole, and then changed the street signs and replaced them with brand spankin' shiny new street name know, the part with the actual street name on it, and then they put the sign back where they got it, packed up, and went about their merry way. The whole thing took about 20 minutes from the time I noticed them out there. Why is this significant, you ask? Because..there wasn't anything wrong with the sign that was there. It looked fine. It wasn't faded or bent. Noone has crashed into it and mangled it or anything. I've never seen workers do this before, and now I wonder if they are going to be doing this to all of the signs in town, or in the neighborhood even, and who requested it to be done. How often do they send city workers around to change perfectly good signs with new ones? I think it's a sign they either have too much money to waste, or too many city workers with nothing really useful to do.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I Got 124

I took this IQ test this morning. Not too sure how accurate an IQ test given by a site called is, but this is what it had to say. I guess it's not too bad considering I'm not quite awake yet this morning. : O)

Congratulations, Susanne!
Your IQ score is 124

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically accurate; to read more about the science behind our IQ test, click here.

During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We analyzed how you did on those questions, which reveals the way your brain uniquely works.

We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is an Insightful Linguist.

This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

What Kind of Dog Are You Test Results.

Susanne, you're a St. Bernard!
No bones about it, you're a dedicated, trustworthy St. Bernard. Loyal and good-hearted, you're as reliable as they come. Your naturally protective personality is reflected in the way you treat people close to you. Sheltering your nearest and dearest from harm (or bad news, for that matter) is high on your priority list. That attitude earns you lots of gold stars, not to mention respect. People admire your strong morals — and how well you stick to them! Focused, steadfast, and determined, you always aim to please. It's a breed like yours that makes the world a better place — woof!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
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Be In A Movie!

Be In A Movie!

Now you can sign up to be in a movie. Be in the crowd scenes of movies.

Supersize Me

I'm awaiting the release of this Supersize Me movie. I'm not sure if I'll go to see it at the theater, or if I'll wait for the release of the video, but I definitely will watch it. The thing is, I've been watching the promos for it, and the features on talk shows and the news and stuff, and it just amazes me. I just finished watching one, as a matter of fact. They say he gained 24 pounds in 30 days, his liver filled with fat to toxic proportions, and his cholesterol shot up through the roof. That kinda makes you think, or at least it should. I don't eat at McDonalds often (though I did today), I tend more towards Taco Bell or pizza, but it's pretty six of one, half a dozen of the other. Wherever you choose to eat, when it comes to fast food, if you do it to excess, you're gonna gain weight, unless you exercise enough and counter act the behavior with enough healthy behavior to balance the scales. The thing that most interests me is that the spur for this movie was a lawsuit filed against McDonald's by two teenage girls who were obese. How the HELL can anyone blame the fact that they are fat on the place they choose to eat their meals? Noone ever claimed this stuff was diet food, or even healthy. It's fat, salt, and goo..what do you expect to happen when you gorge on it. If I choose to go to Dunkin Donuts every day and eat donuts 3 meals a day for my meals, and wash them down with Cokes or Coolatas, or whatever, and don't exercise enough to compensate, when I gain a half a ton, how could it possibly be anybody's fault but mine. It just amazes me to what extent people refuse to be accountable for their own actions these days. I think that part of the problem is that so many people are so used to things being regulated and monitored, and that if it wasn't good for you, or if it could possibly harm you, it wouldn't or shouldn't be allowed to be available to the public. If it wasn't good for you, they should have to write it out in a detailed warning on the all of their products, and post signs saying "Warning, you idiot, eating a diet that consists mainly of salt, fat, and goo will make you unhealthy and fat" How about, if people actually are required to use their brains and some common sense, and figure it out that a diet consisting mostly of fast food and crap may be a bad idea. If you sit on the couch and eat, and don't exercise, and watch TV 24/7, you will be fat. You can't blame your choices on anyone else.
You are Bavarian
You are a Bavarian.

What's your Inner European?
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Apparently, I'm Going To Live

I went to the doc today, and that was lots of fun. I still felt like poo this morning, so was really not even in the mood to put on clothes and leave the house, but my ear was really starting to sting. The doc was one I've never seen before, I go to this clinic sorta place. Nice people. He was pretty cute. Dad brought me over there, and he tried to tell me it was a waste of time to go to the doc if you know what you have, since you can get your drugs online without a prescription. Dad's a big fan of stuff you can find on the internet. I told him I was aware of that, but I thought since my ear was actually pretty painful, and pretty much swollen shut, you can't even work a Q-tip inside of it, I thought it was pretty much a good idea to actually go see what the doc had to say. Even if I wanted to order them, I would have had to wait overnight while they delivered them, and by going to the doc I could get them today. So, anyway, I'm driving with dad to the doc's, and it was fine on the way over, but he lost it somehow on the way home. Now, my dad has been a truck driver most of his adult life. Big rigs..and then buses when he retired. He knows..or to drive well. But, he's getting older now, he's 65, and he gets a little confused. He doesn't pay attention real well sometimes. You're pretty much taking your life into your own hands at times driving with him. He's cute though, so I guess we'll keep him. As dad's go, he's pretty cool, and my mom sorta likes him. Usually, he does okay cuz he had my mom with him, watching everything he does and instructing him on how to drive. They're a trip. Anyway, he had to cross from one side of University Blvd to the other and drive into the lot across the road from where we were, and I didn't think we were gonna make it. I was hoping we would make it though, cuz I didn't want my last meal to be Chicken Mc Nuggets. As it turns out, the doc says what I have is actually "swimmer's ear". I musta gotten water in it and it got infected. He gave me some Cortisporin drops and some Levaquin, and told me to come back on Wednesday to check it. If it isn't much better by then, I'll have to go to an ENT specialist to have a wick put in the ear, so that the medication can get down into the ear. I don't wanna do that, particularly. Don't like doctors. Don't like "procedures". Don't wanna do it. I'm sure it won't hurt or anything, but just the same, I'm hoping to avoid the whole thing entirely, and just get better with my drugs and my drops. I took my pill and have used the drops a few times today, and I still don't feel great, but my ear does feel a bit less swollen. I made a "wick" of my own of sorts, and took a Q-tip with some medication on it, and stuck it as deep into the ear as I could without pain, and I'm hoping that will help some. I'll find out on Wednesday, I guess.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Ear Infections Can Suck My Ass

I feel like POO! I may be about to die. This totally sucks!! This ear infection is killing me, and I don't have the energy to go to the ER and sit there waiting to see a doctor, so I asked my dad to take me to the doc tomorrow. I hate hate HATE doctors. I'll go for an ear infection, cuz I know all he'll do is give me some antibiotics and stuff, but for anything else you have to drag me kicking and screaming. Especially if I'm not sure what my problem is, because the thought that they might possibly try to come at me with a needle or something terrifies me enough to ensure that I don't go. I hate that, really. I'm an adult. I'm pretty rational in most cases, and I know that even if they come at me with some monster needle and impale me with it at maximum force, it will only hurt for a minute. It might hurt, it might sting, it might be really, really uncomfortable for a short length of time, but it won't kill me. Chances are, I have enough cushiony fat on my arms I probably would barely feel it, yet I'm terr-i-fied of needles. I've never ever even had blood drawn for lab tests or anything, because I absolutely refuse. I know I have to do it. I know I should. I need to. But, I dont. Luckily, all I have to do tomorrow is go in, show him my ear, get my drugs, and be on my way. If I live that long.
J got a job today. Yeah!!! Well, I guess I shouldn't be too excited, because he hasn't actually started it yet, and who knows if it will work out, but I don't think there should be any problem. Other than the fact that his new boss barely speaks English, and communication might be a problem with her, he should be fine. He has been doing some work here and there for one of his teachers at his school, mostly painting and doing yard work, and installing ceiling fans and stuff..helping them remodel their home, pretty much. The woman that cleans for them, apparently, owns a cleaning/janitorial service, and she told him yesterday that she would give him a job. I think it's like 8.00 an hour, not great, but not too shabby, considering it's just being a cleaning person. I don't know a lot of the details, because I asked him but talking to J about anything, and trying to get any kind of concrete information out of him is like pulling teeth. He's not sure of a lot of the details yet either, so I guess we'll just have to wait. It's better than the 0 dollars he gets now. I think he's eligible to go back to work at the school in August, possibly, so even if he can hold on to this job until then, if he really doesn't like it, he can always quit and go back to the school. I really don't think the woman would blame him, since it pays 10.00 an hour. Of course, he would leave a job at 8.00 an hour to go for one for 10.00. He'd be stupid not to. Now, if he stays at this job, once again he'll have his own cigarette money and gas money, he'll be able to pay his bills on time again, and he will be able to give me some money finally. Here's hoping anyway.

Saturday, May 08, 2004


eBay Member Profile for andy46477

This guy is obviously someone with waaaay too much time on his hands.

Saturday Wrapup

So, we went to Wally World tonight, because I, brainiac that I am, forgot tomorrow was Mother's Day, so I had to go get a card and some kinda gifty for my mommy. I knew Mother's Day was this Sunday, I just sorta lost track of the fact that it was Sunday already tomorrow. So, we're in Wally World, and there's wall to wall maniacs. The card aisle is full of people, and near empty of suitable cards. J went off to find himself some shoes while I looked at the cards. I pretty much just grabbed the first halfway decent card I saw, I just wanted to get out of that aisle. I nearly got sideswiped by some young black girl, an employee no less, with her cart full of stuff. She was making a bee-line for the pork rinds, and I was in her way. That was fun. I don't feel too spiffy as it is, because I woke up this morning with a kick-ass ear infection on the left side. Swollen shut, goopy, slightly painful. Not good! Especially since I have to work tonight, and a swollen shut ear I can't hear out of is not conducive to being able to hearing mumbly, snarfling doctors. I couldn't even put a Q-tip into it to try to clean it out some. Thank Gawd the right side is fine. Now, I'll have to go to the doctor on Monday for some antibiotics. In the meantime, I'm taking the dog's cephalexin prescription. It's not the best thing to do to take doggie antibiotics, particularly, but it's all the same stuff pretty much. You just have to adjust the dosing. The ingredients in dog antibiotics are the same as in the human variety, except for the some of the compounds they put in them may make it hard for your system to absorb them. They're geared for doggy digestion. I feel better anyway after taking them, and that's all that matters, as far as I'm concerned. If I start growing a tail or chasing cars, I'll let y'all know. I picked up a few other things while I was there, including the Peter Pan movie that just got released this week. I'm gonna try to watch it tonight, if at all possible. I also got my mom one of those really big, frosted sugar cookies, decorated for Mother's Day, and I'm just gonna give her some cash. I hate giving people cash, but it's just the easiest thing. I know she doesn't need clothes, she doesnt really wear jewelry, but cash I know she can use.

After Wally World, we went out to dinner. It was a toss up between Mexican and Italian, but we picked Italian. Mostly because the Italian place was on the same side of the street we were already on. It was a brand new place that just opened yesterday on Beach Boulevard, called Fontana's. The place they're opened in, used to be some country bar/pool hall type place, but they made it all pretty inside and it looks nice. I don't go out for Italian often, because it's always such a toss up on what you're gonna get. There aren't a lot of non-chain restaurants in Jacksonville, so it's nice to be able to go to one once in a while. This place makes it's own bread and pasta, and when the waiter takes your order, he pulls up a chair and sits down at the table with you. J was kinda bugged by that, but it didn't bother me. It's kinda funny. J got some chicken alfredo and I got chicken parm and ziti. I thought about the veal parm, but I can never bring myself to order veal. J said his alfredo was good, but not as good as mine. A compliment from J is rare, I was pretty shocked. As for my meal, the sauce was a very red, tomato-y sauce, obviously home made as evidenced by the big bay leaf I found in it. It was tasty though. More so than I expected when I first looked at it. I love chicken parm! They served us baskets of very warm garlic twists bread, and it was yummy..though I was wishing they had some of that stuff they sometimes give you..I forget what it's dip your bread in. It's basically warm olive oil with garlic and stuff in it, but it's really good. No such luck, though. The best feature of the entire place, aside from the huge glasses they serve their wine in, and the much more huge Italian style fountain in the center of the place, was the huge waiter. This was one big guy, and unfortunately, he didn't serve us. J asked him how tall he was, and he said he was 6'11. He was easily one of the tallest people I've ever seen in real life, and he had to duck his head under all the doorways to go through them. He was big, and he was pretty. Thick, dark hair, wide shoulders, nice butt, great smile, and I'm pretty sure he had blue eyes. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part, I can't be sure. Even if the food sucked, I'd have to go back there again to gawk at him! I know, I'm pathetic, but ya take your jollies where ya can get em, ya know. It was a pretty good choice, overall, and I think we'll go back again. Especially since they're open to 2:00 a.m. on weekends. That's not common around these parts.

Now, I gotta go wait for my mom and dad to get here, they just called and they just got out of Bingo and are on their way over to pick up mom's loot. I won't be able to go there tomorrow to see her, because J has to work. oh yeah! I almost forgot.. J got a job today! More on that later, I gotta go get stuff ready for them.

A Quick PSA

Wally World. Mother's Day Card aisle the night before Mother's Day. DON'T. EVEN. THINK. ABOUT. IT. you may never get out alive.

Thank you.

That is all!

Friday, May 07, 2004

Waste Not, Want Not

I have this thing that happens at my house, and maybe it happens to you, too. I just cleaned out my fridge and my shelves and threw out about a trash bag and a half of boxes, bags, and cans of old, stale, or rotting stuff that was left in the fridge to rot. Yeah, some of it is leftovers and veggies and stuff that were just starting to go bad before I had a chance to use them. I really, really HATE when that happens..grrrrr. The rest of it was boxes of cereal with one small serving of cereal left, jars of fruit with one serving left in them, one hot dog left in a package, two pieces of cheese that didn't get eaten and got hard, boxes of crackers and bags of chips that were almost, but not quite empty, cottage cheese with about two mouthfuls left in the container, an almost empty ketchup bottle that got left in the fridge unused, and the new bottle was opened and sits in there too. Ya see where I'm goin' here? Why..Why..WHY can't someone use the last of what's in the box of cereal before opening the new box? Is it too much to ask? What was wrong with that last bit of ketchup that it couldn't have been used before the new bottle was opened? Or, if you don't want to use the last of something, at least throw out the little bit that's left if you're going to open the new one. I know, in some cases, some stuff gets left because people are trying to be considerate and leave the last of something for someone else, so as not to look like a hog. Of course, this is after they have eaten the entire rest of the whatever it was, and they leave barely enough for a worthwhile serving, so it gets left. Then, in some cases, it gets left because there's just a little left, but they don't want to just waste it and throw the little bit away, just in case someone wants it. The sad thing is there are only two of us in this house, though John may have contributed some, and I have no children. So, guess who is the one guilty of leaving the majority of the nearly empty bottles and cans in the cupboards and fridge.. yeah, that's right.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

I'll Be There For You

Well, it's done, and as predicted there was copious crying. I kinda saw the twins thing coming, there had to be something special and unexpected that happened. They couldn't just have a baby and be done. I figured it would either end up being twins, or she would have some drama about second thoughts about giving the baby up. Or, Monica would find out she was pregnant. it just me, or do they EVER let you just take the baby home the day it's born? No tests? No monitoring? No making sure the babies are eating and thriving? It was like going to the bakery and picking up a pie..I'll take one hot, fresh..or two in this, please! and off you go on your merry way. It was like, "We're taking Erica to recovery now" Okay, see ya! Thanks for the babies, have a nice life. We're going home with our babies now, we'll call ya! Do they keep the babies in the hospital two or three days usually because they want to monitor the mom, or do they keep the mom in the hospital three days so they can monitor the baby? Hmmmm.. Where the heck was Emma? I guess it woulda made the Ross and Rachel getting back together thing seem less romantic, if they had to hug and kiss with a baby in her arms. I knew she wasn't getting on that plane, that was a no brainer. You had to know they would be getting back together, though I half thought maybe Ross would end up getting on the plane with her and going to Paris to live. I'm kinda surprised they didn't have anything about Joey and him deciding to move to California. I thought that was kinda strange, and I wonder why they didn't. Oh well, it's over, the end of 10 years of Friends.. I miss them already.

Alarming Trend?

I'm watching FOX News, and they have a story about kids "cutting". They call it an "alarming trend". Are these people living in a cave? Are they just realizing this goes on now? Maybe it's because I'm an MT and I have done psyche reports for quite a few years, so I hear about kids, and sometimes adults, who are suicidal and cutting on themselves all the time. Constantly. To the point where I wonder what the hell is wrong with society these days that makes kids so frustrated, hurt, angry, or whatever it is that drives them to cut themselves. I wonder all the time, too, if this is something relatively new that rarely went on in "calmer, gentler times", or if it's been around just as much since "forever", and it's only now being recognized, or becoming more widespread. According to the news program, it is a growing phenomenon, and it mostly affects girls. They cut or burn themselves to relieve anxiety, and sometimes break bones. The fact that things like anorexia and cutting on themselves are things that mainly affect girls is a sad thing in itself, and a whoooole nuther very long post entirely. I think it says a lot about girls and women in general, that it's such a common thing that they feel they have to starve or maim themselves to be heard, to gain control, or to get some kind of release. But that's for another day. The psyche guy they talked to says it's the fastest growing behavioral problem affecting adolescents in our country. I have read some people's blogs and journals, where they talk about the fact that they hurt themselves, and that it's a release, or that the pain somehow makes them feel better, and sometimes that they do it to punish themselves because they're bad and stuff. So, the question is, assuming this is something that has been going on for a long, long time, but is now growing in frequency at an alarming rate, is the growth in frequency due to the fact that kids are so much more stressed and emotionally screwed up these days? Or is the fact that there are 2,830,000 results for the Google search "when I cut myself" some kind of factor in the growing trend? How much do internet sites and movie portrayals about "cutters" and people who hurt themselves account for the rise in the trend? Or, are there that many results for that search because it's been around forever, but with the internet, people are only now able to have a way to talk about it with others who are also cutters, and maybe are trying to reach out for help? Of course, not every one of those 2,830,000 results are from "cutters", some are things like "when I cut myself with a broken glass", or some other random thing, but a good portion are from "cutters". Like this one Why Cut myself. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that, or the solution. I just know that something isn't right somewhere, if this is what kids have to do to relieve their pain, or to even be able to feel.

The End is Near...

Tonight's the night. The end of Friends is finally here. First Sex And The City, now Friends..what's next?? I'm so gonna be crying hard by the end of that show. I know, in my head, that it's not reeeaally the end of Friends, seeing as it's on a gazillion times in reruns every day, and it's not like they aren't going to play the last show again a few times over the summer...and then forever after that. Plus, you can totally buy the entire she-bang on DVD and watch all you like. But to know that it's over and there won't be any more episodes EVER, after them being around for close to an eternity, it's just so sad. I was reading comments on a post made at one of my regular reads today, and they were talking about how Friends sucks and it's not the end of an era, it's just a TV show, and that's true enough (well, not the sucking part), but when you consider what's left on TV now.. I think the end of Friends will put a serious hole in prime time TV. I would like to think good things, and have some hope for the new "Joey" show, and maybe it will actually be good..but, seriously, what are the odds?! There have been some spinoffs that have done really well, like Laverne and Shirley, and Frasier, but other than that, how many really have been truly successful for any length of time. I can't think of too many. All I know, is I'll be watching from the first second to the last tonight, and crying my eyes out by the end of it.


My GAWD I'm so freakin' tired. I was up til 3:00 a.m., and it's now 7:00 it's time to get up again. I'm kinda hoping Jen calls today and says she won't be here, so I can hit my bed again. I was up helping a friend do this test she had to do, now she'll get to sleep in this morning, while I'll be up struggling to stay awake until 2:00. Something just ain't right with this picture. On the bright side, if she passes the test, and all goes well, I'll get 600.00 (long story), so I guess it's worth it. I would sell my first born child (not that I ever plan to have one) right now, for a couple hours of sleep. The only thing that might save me is if the jobs I download this morning are long ones, and it takes Jen a while to do them. That way, I can take a nap while she's working on them. Otherwise, I'm gonna be one miserable SOB today. I don't think even major amounts of caffeine will work today. Thank Gawd tomorrow's Friday, so I can sleep in. I think I'm gonna go take a cold shower, and see if that wakes me up.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Somebody's Knocking

I'm gonna kill J. The other day, I was in the kitchen fixing something for lunch, and I heard this knocking sound. It sounded like a knock on the door. Very clear and sorta loud. The dogs were outside and they weren't barking so I thought they probably had gotten out of the yard. Some asshat had probably come in to the yard to deliver something or for whatever reason, and let them out. I was not happy. I checked to see who was knocking, but noone was there. Great! Whoever it was had left already. I looked out the back door, and the dogs were right there, happily biting on each others heads as usual. So, what was with the knocking? I just shrugged and figured I'd imagined it, and went back to work. So, today, I'm in the kitchen again, making a salad, and I hear this real clear knocking again. The dogs started barking and went to the door, I was like, "Great! Who the hell is that?" Nobody usually just stops at my house. I wasn't expecting any deliveries. So, I stop what I'm doing and go to the front door..nothing. I go to the back door..nothing. No sign of anyone, anywhere. WFT??? I then hear what sounds like a door slamming, and I realize that J has left his computer on. He has the sounds set up for when his buddies come on and leave to sound like opening and slamming doors..and when someone IMs him, it makes a door knocking sound! Damn that sounded real!

Can Ya Smell The Smoke?

I'm wracking my brain.. wracking? racking? I think it's wracking, actually, to find a safe subject to post about that won't get me in trouble, and it's a problem. I can't post about J, cuz it seems he doesn't appreciate that. Well, he hasn't done anything in the last day or so, aside from find my blog, that pissed me off or was really stupid or interesting, anyway. The weather is beautiful, and it's a great day. So, no fun there. Although, it did piss down rain, thunder, and lightning all over the Jazz Fest this weekend, which kinda sucked. I would have liked to go, but I was busy and it wasn't worth putting myself farther behind to go stand in the rain. The dogs haven't done anything particularly interesting, except Belle actually got outside today with no leash on, and she didn't jump the fence. She came right back in the house. Of course, that was only because Jen was here, and she called her to her. If it had just been me here, she would have flipped me off, laughed like a fiend, and jumped the fence in a half a heartbeat. She'd probably still be gone, or I'd be out walking the streets looking for her. Thank Gawd for Jen! I have watched a couple really good movies lately that I haven't reviewed yet, but I'm not in the mood to do a review at the moment, because they really take a while to get quite right. But, I will get a few done in the near future, I promise. Does anyone like my movie reviews? It's times like this when I wish I had one of those blogs with a zillion readers who comment and give you answers when you ask questions. The most amazing thing was when Dooce posted a couple weeks or so ago about what to teach Leta to call her "cheeseburger", and she got like 570 or more comments from people about names for your the space of one day. 500-and-freakin-70 comments on one post. I think it was that many anyway, but I can't remember. It was a phuqing lot, that's all I know. I'll be lucky if I see 570 comments in my lifetime LOL. I could take a page from Buddha's Book of Blogging and talk about bowel movements and gastric problems, but..umm.. I think he has that covered all by himself. I can't even talk about sex, because if I do, and J comes here, he'll think I was talking about sex to lure some man to come do me. He thinks everything is somehow connected to sex. You're either having it, or looking for it. Of course, I, being the big slut that I am, have no self control. I have been known to fall over backwards with my legs in the air at the mere sight of a man. It's not pretty, but what can I do? We won't go into the fact that I recently bought a new shower massager. The comments I got on THAT one. The only reason any woman ever buys a shower massager, we all know, is to break up the monotony of her BOB. You couldn't actually have a practical reason to buy one. Now, every time I take a shower I'm just waiting for him to come in and throw back the curtain, trying to catch me doing stuff. He's not well. Oh well, I guess I'll go find something productive to do, I'll find something exciting to blog about later.

Monday, May 03, 2004

What To Do?

Ok, so here I am again. I didn't post much this weekend, because I was just kinda busy and in need of a break. Good thing, as it turns out, that I didn't because any posts I would have come up with would have been about me and J and stuff, and I would have had to end up deleting them anyway. We go through these things where we go back and forth ad nauseum about our relationship and why are we together, and "you don't love me" and "no, you don't love me". It's ridiculous. So, anything I would have had to say this weekend would probably not have been anything I'd like for J to read. There's a whole lot more I would love to say about this subject, though you good people would probably be bored to tears by it all, I could fill pages with the bullshit we go through, and since there is a very real possibility that J may stumble upon this blog sometime in the near future, I now can't write anything really personal. I can't vent when he pisses me off, or say anything that he might not like should he find himself here. I've had to go back through my archives and read everything to be sure that there's nothing in there that may hurt him or piss him off if he comes here. He's pretty much ruined this blog for me, and I may have to end up doing what I had been thinking about doing for a while now and switch to my own domain and MT. I know, I've threatened to do it before, and I really should. I like the features you get with MT, and it would be nice to be one of the "cool kids" and have a dedicated domain for my blog. I could get some cool skins and stuff, too. I already have several domains I could choose from to use, but I wouldn't put it on, because he knows of that one. I'd have to change my name too, and not use JaxVenus, because he could possibly find my new blog by that name someday, too. This really sucks. Of course, as I said the other day, I could say phuque it, go ahead and post the way I like, whatever I like, and if he finds it and doesn't like what he reads, it's just too damn bad, because he wasn't invited here. I just know that I won't do that, because I don't want to hurt him. Why, may ask.. don't you just stay here and be sure, in the future, not to post about him or say anything personal or mean that he may not like? The answer to that is simple. This is something I do for me, to vent and say what I want, and I don't want to have to sensor myself. I thought I was truly busted yesterday, because he found my old blog that I stopped posting to in October, and he read every bit of what was there, and he was not a happy camper. I don't know how he found it, what search he used to get there, but he did manage to find it, so it may be only a matter of time until he finds his way here. I deleted the old one, now he may go looking again, or he may figure it's gone and give up, thinking that's all there is. I don't know, and there's no way I can be sure if he will or won't find this one. It was bad enough, with the shit storm I got just from what he read on the other one, I can imagine what he'd find on this site he wasn't happy about. Sheeesh. We're talking hooouuurs of discussion. Actually, there were a few kinda bad posts about him over there, where he'd really pissed me off or irritated me, and I was a bit snarky about it..just a little.. but there was also some stuff that he read and got offended over that I really couldn't believe he had a problem with. Again, I'd have to censor myself big time with him reading stuff I write, and I don't want to have to do that. ::;sigh:::

As I see it, I have several choices.
1. Stay here, post whatever the hell I like, and say the hell with it. If he don't like it, he shouldn't have gone snooping.
2. Stay here, modify my posting to nothing really personal, and give you the censored, watered down version. Of course, if I did this I'd have to start an online journal somewhere else anonymously for all the messy, personal, ranty, bitchy stuff. I'd still have to get that out somewhere
3. Switch to MT and my own domain under a completely different name where he couldn't find me and go back to posting whatever the phuque I like...and find a way to let all 3 of my regular readers know where I am.
4. Start another Blogspot blog under a completely different name and post whatever I like there. It would be free, but, really, if Im gonna bother to move and change my name, I might as well go ahead and get onto my own domain and get all the goodies I could get using MT.

Unfortunately, is already taken. That really sucks! It wouldn't be so bad if it were being used for something useful, but they have some stupid search page thing up there. What a waste. Oh well, I guess I'm off to clean my house and think about what I need to do.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

Ya know what is my absolute least favorite commercial on TV right now? It was just on, and it just grosses me out and I think it's so stupid. The Axe body spray commercial where they show the frog, and then the guy eating the frog legs, and then some other weird crap. I can't even watch it. It makes no sense, and its gross with that old guy chomping on the frog legs. ewwwwwww. Gives me the willies!