Friday, May 14, 2004


What to do..what to do.. As you know, J recently stumbled on the fact that I have a blog. He hasn't seen this of yet, but I'm sure it may be just a matter of time before he does. Ya never know, right! He found the first one, he could totally end up here someday, and that wouldn't be pretty. I'm not always nice to him here, when he pisses me off and irritates me, which is pretty often. Knowing he could find this one, has totally made me self conscious about what I write, and made me not want to post so often, or write personal things so much. Not that I ever posted about anything extremely personal, I don't think, but I could if I wanted if there was no possibility of having to worry he might read it. Oddly enough, he's the only person in my real life I really, really don't want to read my blog. If my mom or my sister or a friend found it, I'd be a okay with that. I'm just not handing out the url, ya know. So, anyway..I went ahead and did as I was threatening to do, and got my own domain for my blog. I got it hosted for 30.00 a year, including MT installation, which isn't too shabby a price. I forget the name of the hosting company, but it's actually run by Blogger, from what I understand. I pretty much decided to keep this one going, because I like it here, and start the other blog under a completely different nickname. I'm still trying to come up with one I like. It' strange trying to come up with something that feels right, and fits me. It's like trying to fit into a new skin, and nothing seems right yet. I've been rolling a few of them around in my brain for a week or so now, and the only one that kinda works for me is Jazmine..after my dog. LOL It's really strange to me to have to come up with another online personality, essentially, since I've been JaxVenus, or some variation of Venus for as long as I've been online. This new one will have to be something completely different. Though, if I use Jazmine, it not only might make it awkward when I post about my dog, it also might make it possible for him to find me someday. It's not likely but it could happen. Maybe I'm being too paranoid, and it would be fine. I just know I really would rather he not have any access to my blog, not only for now, while we're together, in case I write something unflattering or particularly mean about him. Not that I would EVER do that. Also, if we ever broke up, I wouldn't want him reading about everything I do after he's gone. You need to have some things that are just about you, and this is one of them for me. I don't know, I'm gonna keep thinking about it, and see what I can come up with. I'm not going to put the url of the new blog here, for obvious security reasons, but when I do start posting there and get it set up, I'll tell people who need or want to know what the new one is.

The other problem is this. MT has started charging now, kinda a lot of money, apparently, for their new version. I haven't started posting using the MT as of yet, and now I'm wondering if I should go ahead and try one of the other programs available, like wordpress or pmachine or whatever, before I go ahead and get into it with MT, to avoid having to pay out all that money. I guess I could just stay with whatever version I have installed there already forever, and not worry about upgrading, but this is something I figure I should decide about right out of the box, before I get started on anything. I can't decide, and I'll have to check stuff out and decide. Problem is, if I decide to change to another one, I have no clue how to install a blog software, which is why I got a site with it included. I may be able to figure it out, I'm pretty smart like that sometimes, but maybe I can't. Then I'll have to pay someone to do it for me. Also, I have no clue how to make and install skins on MT, or any other system for that matter, and I'd like to make mine all pretty, but I don't want to put a whole bunch of cash into it. I have no clue how hard or how easy it is to do this. All of these questions are holding up the start of the new blog. So, anyway, I guess I'll just have to take some time and figure all of this out, so I can get stuff up and running. Decisions..decisions..

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