Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Shit, Meet The Fan.

OMG! Big news coming tomorrow folks! Unless I don't have time to post, because it is the last day of the pay period. But I got news. Big BIG news. It's a shocker.. well, not really..but it sure as hell took me by surprise. That's all I'm sayin'...
check
check

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Checkin' In

Hellooo people! Yes, I'm still alive. I have been pretty busy the past few days, so I haven't had time to post or visit all my bloggy friends, but I've just been going and going. We had Eric again this past weekend, and J took him and his little girlfriend to Adventure Landing for the day on Saturday. I didn't go, although I did kinda want to. I just didn't feel like dealing with the crap. They have a water park there, miniature golf, laser tag, go-kart rides, and a huge arcade, it's a lot of fun, but all I would want to do is play in the water and maybe play in the arcade, and J wants to spend his whole day on the go-karts. Why, I don't know. He has a real car. What's the thrill about scrunching yourself into a little fake one and going around and around in circles, dodging 10 year olds who can't steer? Once or twice is fun.. after the 50th time the thrill is gone. I haven't bought my tickets for Mass yet, but I plan to buy them when I get paid on the 10th of July. I already picked my flight and I'm all psyched about going. The good thing, or sorta good thing, is, J wanted to come with me, and he whined when I said I might go alone, but now he's thinking he might not be able to go. He's starting his new job soon and he has school and stuff, so he may not be able to take the time off. Yahoo for me!! If he doesnt go, I don't have to board the dogs in a kennel, I don't have to pay for a rental car, since it's just me and all I want to do is sit at Lisa's house and visit, or at the campground if we do end up going camping. I don't need a car for that. Maybe he found himself a new girlfriend, or he's decided he wants the house to himself so he can have a party for himself while I'm gone. Whatever! I don't care what he does. What I don't know won't hurt me. I probably will still buy two tickets, just in case he decides he does want to come. That way, if he comes he has a ticket, and if he doesn't, I have plenty of room to be comfy on the plane. I hate to fly alone though. I hate to fly at all, actually. I like the actual flight, but I get so nervous before the flight, worrying about the plane crashing and stuff. I know statistically it's very safe, and I've never had any problems when I've flown, but still. You never know. Stuff can happen. Once I'm in the air, I kinda get really calm, and relax..and usually sleep through the whole flight. I think they put something in the cabin air to put you to sleep. I just figure, once I'm up there it's too late to do anything about anything then. If it's gonna crash, ain't nothing I can do, so I might as well just kick back and deal with whatever happens. I'm sure it'll be fine. I haven't flown since 9/11, so I'm sure there will be some differences from the last time I flew security-wise. I hear they sometimes make you take off your shoes and do all kinds of weird shit now. Should be fun. Well, that's all I have time for, for now. Just wanted to check in and give a little update, in case anyone thought I died or something.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Yippeeee. I'm so excited. After thinking and thinking about not being able to go home for the 4th for the big bash, I was getting really bummed, and then I decided phuque it! I figured some stuff out and looked at some fares and I found a flight for 219.00 per person on Labor Day Weekend, and I think I'm gonna go home to Mass on Labor Day Weekend. I have some paid days coming to me, and he will be working and should be able to give me some cash, and that's not a bad price, so I think I should be able to swing it no problem. I just need to figure out what to do with the doggies. I hate to put them in a kennel, but I will if I have to. It may be the easiest way. Maybe mom and dad will come stay for the weekend to take care of them. They do it for Diane, but I'm not sure if they'd come stay here or not. I'll have to ask them and see what they say. I'm sure John will stay if I asked him too, but I don't trust him. He'll do in an emergency though. I just want to go hoooooooome. I miss Lisa and the kids so much, I can't wait to see everyone. The bad thing is I may not get to see my brothers while I'm up there. If I see them once for a few hours I'll be doing good, but I just saw them in March, so it sucks but it's not tragic. If I go, we'll leave Thursday night or Friday morning, and come back on Tuesday, and we're gonna go camping while we're there from Saturday until Monday. That won't leave much time to see everybody. Lisa has a camper they keep at a campground up there, and she said they were planning to go for Labor Day, so I said that's fine, no need to change their plans. It should be a blast. I haven't been camping in three or four years..actually, maybe it was longer than that. I'm not sure.

I know J has been wanting to go camping, and I keep putting him off. He can't believe I actually want to go now that we're going up to Mass. What he doesn't realize is, camping with just me and J does not appeal to me. That trip, to me, means a $300 trip to Wally World to buy all the stuff we don't have and stuff we don't really need, but we should get "just in case", and buying extra food and stuff to take. Then, it's driving all the way to whatever campground we're heading to, and this would be the last peaceful time of the entire trip, because once we got there, all hell would break loose. Setting up a tent with J is something I've done once before, and don't hope ever to do again. Doing anything that requires cooperation and communication with J is not fun. I'd rather chew tacks. He's a pain in the ass. Once the tent was up, if we managed to get it up without blood shed, we would commence with the "fun" part. That would mean either sitting around the site doing nothing..wheeeeeeee.. or maybe driving off somewhere to find something to do. This, of course, would cost me money..because everything does. We would inevitably end up actually doing nothing, because we wouldn't be able to agree on what we want to do, or if there was something to do..we'd end up irritating each other somehow, so that it just wasn't worth the effort. Then, he would expect me to COOK. On a grill or Coleman stove, or some such contraption. I don't cook in my house with a stove and convenient equipment. What makes him think I'll cook in the woods over some open flames?? I think camping food should be ham and cheese sammiches, peanut butter and jelly, maybe a box of Cocoa Puffs, junk food and finger foods. Maybe you should stick a hot dog on a stick and cook it in the fire.. that I could do. Although, I don't eat hot dogs... And toasted marshmallows.. that's camping. He still expects real food. Yet, he doesn't have to cook or clean up. He's outta his tree. I pretty much think the menu camping with Lisa will be hot dogs, hamburgs, sammiches..maybe some chips.. and BEER, of course, cuz they like their beer. Now, there's a menu I can get behind.

Now I need to save my pennies, buy some new clothes and stuff, and start planning the big trip. I only have 71 days to get ready...

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The Top 10 Categories Never Used on Jeopardy

10) "Noises Dad Makes"

9) "Things You Shouldn't Do With Farm Animals"

8) "Satanic Bible Verses"

7) "1st Cousin Pick-up Lines"

6) "Who's My Daddy?"

5) "Things You Shouldn't Put In The Microwave"

4) "Late Nights With A Cadaver"

3) "Serial Killers"

2) "What's That Rash"

1) "Ways I'd Kick Alex's A**"

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Lisa called me tonight and told me they are having a big bash for the 4th, her brother and his wife and the kids are all going to Mass from Vermont for the weekend, the rest of the family will be there, and a whole ton of friends, and they're gonna cook out and already bought a whole shitload of fireworks. She told me to buy a ticket and come on up for the weekend. I would soooo love to go, but it's just too short a notice, and there's no way I can afford to go. If I went alone, its 325.00 and up for a ticket, because its a holiday weekend, and for the two of us it would be almost 700.00.. There's just no way. So, now I'm kinda bummed. I have been checking the fares lately and thinking seriously of buying a ticket for sometime within the next few months, but there's no way I could go for the 4th. I told them to take up a collection for me and I'd come up. So, I told J I would love to go but I couldn't afford for both of us, and so I was gonna go up by myself. He started bitching and moaning about how I won't take time off and say I can't afford to go camping or anything on a weekend with him, but I can take time and money to go up there. It's not like I am gonna go up there, because I can't afford to and can't take the time off on such short notice, but his attitude pretty much pissed me off. I told him that if I could afford for myself to go if I went alone, and it meant I could go home to visit by myself, I sure as phuque would go if that's what I want to do. I haven't been up there in almost 3 years. I don't know who the hell he thinks he is, but I felt like kicking him in the head. He'll be on vacation from school sometime in July, and he wants me to go camping with him. I like camping and I havent been in a while, but I don't want to go with him because he's a pain in the ass. Plus, on a weekend is when I make most of my money because I can usually get bonuses for working on the weekends. I ain't gonna give up 300.00 or 400.00 dollars to go sit in a tent, bored and irritated, and listen to him bitch. I can do that at home and make money. So, anyway, now I'm thinking I may try to put off a few things and make some arrangements and go up for the weekend of my birthday in August, from the 13th to 16th, or maybe the 17th., so I won't have to leave on my actual birthday. I don't know if he can get the time off, but I found a cheap flight that if I book real soon I can get round trip for 2 for 447.00. That's not too bad. I figure I'll call Lisa's boyfriend and tell him I'm coming, so he can make sure she doesn't go anywhere or plan anything that weekend, and tell him not to tell her. I tried to surprise her once before a few years back but I couldn't take it, and the morning I was scheduled to leave I called her and when she asked "So when ya coming up?", which is usually the first thing out of her mouth when I call, I blurted out "in about 6 hours, I'll be there by 11:00 a.m." I almost made it, but I caved under the pressure. So, the problem is, that if I book the flight and then it turns out J can't come with me, I'll have to leave without him, and then I'll have to listen to his crap. Not that I truly care, because he'll get over it, but the fact that I need to go through the bullshit at all pisses me off. I don't know. I guess I'll just have to decide if its what I want to do, if I can afford to do it, and if he comes he comes, and if he can't then screw him. He'll get over it. The worst thing, is he spent a night at his friend's house a few weeks back, and he keeps, every weekend or so lately, how he and John and Eric are going camping for the weekend.. but that's okay. He can go where he likes..I don't say anything to him, but he would give me shit if I went somewhere without him. I'm not gonna worry about it now, but I'm still pretty irritated.

Monday, June 21, 2004

BAHAHAHAHA

OMG! This is phuqing hilarious......MasterCard

Shamelessly stolen from The Gamer's Nook

Sunday, June 20, 2004

The Top 14 Rejected Slogans for Beer

14. Beer: Getting sorority girls knocked up for 300 years

13. Goes Down Cold, Comes Up Smooth!

12. A decent excuse for your normal clumsy self

11. Because You're Sober

10. Tastes like piss, but you'll drink it anyway

9. Beer: That nasty taste means it's workin'!

8. You have to fill your bladder with something.

7. Don't Make Germany Angry. You Wouldn't Like Germany
When It's Angry.

6. We don't make the urine. We make the urine faster.

5. Numbing the Embarrassment of Being You

4. It's the thicker-chicker-picker-upper!

3. Easier to Spell than Whiskey

2. The *Other* Thin Yellowish Liquid

1. Beer: It's how you got here.

Weekend Update

Well, I guess it's time again for an actual post. I spent time Friday in Wally World, where I spent the remainder of my money, so I will now be unbelievably poor until payday next Friday. Actually, I may be sub-poor.. in the hole.. overdrawn.. I can't be sure until stuff clears and I see what's left. I gave dad a check for father's day and had to tell him to hold it until Friday. He's used to that though, so it's no big deal. They kinda expect it. I couldn't help it though, I needed doggy food and some other stuff, and I had to buy some food type stuff because Eric is here for the weekend again. That means I have to feed him. I can get away with not feeding J, because he's a **cough cough** grownup, and he can feed himself, but Eric is 14 and a guest, so I guess he needs to eat. Besides, J will work him the whole weekend, making him clean his car and help clean the pool, and bring him to work with him to help him there, most likely, too. He doesn't mind though, because he'll give him a little cash, and he'll get to swim. So I guess it all works out. The three of them, J, Eric, and John, went to the beach on Saturday, thank Gaaawd. That meant they weren't hanging out here bugging me, and I got to hang out in the pool in peace and quiet for two hours..alone..and then got to work in peace for a little bit. Unfortunately, then they came home. Luckily, they dropped John off first, because he's the worst of the three of them. He's not bad, he's just loud and obnoxious, especially when the 3 of them get together. They asked me to go with them, but I said Hell No!

I did kind of want to go do the whole movie thing on Friday night, but now that I'm poor I couldn't. I thought we might go see Dodgeball or TheTerminal or something, but it works out better this way. Instead oif spending 50.00 on dinner and one movie with some popcorn and soda, we went and rented 5 movies from Blockbuster, went out for BBQ spare ribs for dinner at Sonny's, and I even got a big Hershey bar with almonds and some Junior Mints.. ymmm.. all for about 37.00. Now we're poooooooor, but we had a good time. We rented Timeline, Paycheck, Eurotrip, Calendar Girls, and Scary Movie 3.. I actually watched all 5 of them, that's something new. Usually J picks stupid ones I have no interest in, but this time he actually got two I didn't mind watching, Scary Movie and Eurotrip. Scary Movie was lame but that's pretty much the point, so it wasn't too bad, and Eurotrip, though sorta stupid, was actually entertaining. I love the "Scotty Doesn't Know" song. It goes like this:

Hey!!!!!!

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.

She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees, and...

Scotty doesn't know, oh.
Scotty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know,
Scotty doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL SCOTTY!

Calendar Girls was good too, but I expected it to be, since it's a chick film and I'm really into them. Then the other two that I picked out were really, really good. I didn't expect them to be, based on the reviews. I checked them when I got home and was kinda disappointed, thinking they were gonna suck, but luckily I'm easily entertained and pretty low brow, so I enjoyed the hell outta Paycheck and Timeline. I really love time travel type movies anyway, so I liked them both, and am glad I didn't check the reviews first or I may not have gotten them. Neither of them were spectacular "gotta see em" movies, but I was thoroughly entertained.. and that's enough for me.

Yesterday, me and my sis headed over to mom's to give dad his father's day cards and stuff, cuz my sis and nephew had to leave this morning for Washington for a week, for some kind of school trip. School's been out since the end of May, but they're going this week. It worked out okay though, cuz I got to get out of the house and spend time with my sis, and my nephew stayed here and hung out with Eric while we ran over there. Today, the little girl down the street came over and asked if she could hang out and get in the pool. Since Eric was here, I told her she could hang out with him and go swimming if she wanted. She's 12, and her name is Catlin.. or Cat.. and she used to live in this house before Danny bought it. She comes over and plays with the dogs sometimes, and she seems like a good kid. Then me and J ended up jumping in for an hour or so with them, and we all came in so I could go to work (which, as you can see, I'm not doing) and they cooked up some corn dogs and pizza for themselves for lunch, and are now playing Nintendo 64 in the other room and having a good time. It just started storming about 15 minutes ago, with big boomers and lots of lightning, so I expect the power will be going off here real shortly. I suppose before it does, I should get some actual work done...either that, or take a nap..hmmm decisions decisions...

Saturday, June 19, 2004

I had big plans for an actual post at some point today, but somehow it just never happened. I have started a few over the last day or so, but I just can't seem to manage to finish one. Eric is here again for the weekend, so I've been spending time with him and J, and splashing in the pool of course. I'll take a picture of it one of these days, but it's just your basic vinyl type pool from WallyWorld..the $348 special. It's 18' x 42", round, blue, vinyl, with a blownup ring around the top and filled with water..nothing special..but it's been making me pretty happy. I will pretty much be up til the butt crack of dawn working tonight, since I slacked off and got on the phone with my best friend in the world, Lisa, in Massachusetts..I haven't talked to her in about 2 months, so it was catch-up time. Three hours later we just hung up, so now I gotta work and I'm really pretty tired. This aint gonna be fun. I got a little sunburn on my face and arms today, but nothing too bad. Its pretty red, but I don't think it's going to peel or anything. I hope not, anyway. The good thing is I found out Lisa just got a cell phone and she has T-mobile too, so with mobile to mobile we can talk 24/7 if we like.. wheeeeeee. So now I'm going to work and I will attempt to make a post of some substance in the near future.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Groaners

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry,
gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins
into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the
world.

3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in
the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one,
naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they
lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

5. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man
who shot my paw."

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and
were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they
moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."

8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since
everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival
florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked
the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up
shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and
only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Finally, I have a few minutes to sit down and get something posted. I just haven't had the time or desire for the past few days to write anything. I've been just working, trying to keep up on stuff around here and enjoying my new pool. Friday night, J called and said he was bringing Eric home for the weekend. His birthday was last week, and we hadn't gotten him anything, so we took him to see "The Day After Tomorrow" and went out to dinner. The movie was pretty good. It wasn't spectacular, but it did have some great effects and it was okay. That makes two Friday's in a row we went to the movies, I wonder if we'll go again this week..hmmm. Maybe. It's so expensive when you consider for a couple dollars you can see the same movie when it hits Blockbuster, or you can wait and buy it and watch it over and over for half what you spend at the theater, but I still can't help it. I love the experience of going to a theater, buying a ticket and a big tub of butter-flavored grease covered popcorn, a huge Coke, and some Junior Mints and watching a movie on the big screen..with the previews and stuff..is so much more fun. The one thing that bugs me about going to movies now is the advertising. Don't the theaters make enough money?? They sell you a 1.00 box of Junior Mints for 4.00 and charge you 4.75 for a big bag of popcorn and 15.00 to see the movie..and then ya gotta watch ads on top of it! Even DVDs sometimes have ads at the beginning of them during the previews. What's up with that?? I spent 22.00 for three tickets, 14.75 for ice creams and cokes and a big M&M cookie in the theater cafe while we waited for the movie, and then another 10.50 for a big popcorn and a Coke for during the movie..but I had a good time. If i have any money, I just may go again on Friday..or maybe I'll see if my sis wants to go out bar hopping on Saturday..hmmm.. decisions, decisions. Most likely, I'll probably end up where I usually end up.. doing nothing, sitting on my ass right here in this chair working. But, it's nice to think about having a life, even if you're delusional. Saturday, we ended up going to get the pool, and that was fun. It was hot as hell outside, so J was cranky, and the box wouldn't fit in the car, so we had to figure out how to get it home. It was pretty stressful, but it was worth it once it was all up and filled. So, that's pretty much where I've been since it's been filled, when I'm not working or sleeping, I've been in it. And..I'm going back in it once I finish this post. Which is now.. Byeeeeeeeeeee!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

JaxVensus = Bad Blogger

I haven't abandoned the blog.. I'm in the pool. Wheeeeeeeeee!!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Ohhhh THE DRAMA!

What do you say to an extremely shy about his body 14 year old boy when his brother completely pantses him in the side yard of your house?? I mean..the pants were completely off for about a full minute, right out there in the yard. He was Mortified! I didn't see it, it was just him and his brother and J, his uncle, and probably none of the neighbors saw, because noone was outside at the time..but you woulda thought they paraded him stark naked down Jax Beach. The tears, the drama, the utter life-shattering embarrassment. Apparently, he was inside of the pool (which I bought today, by the way YIPPEE), standing in it while it fills, and he said something smart, and OFF they came! Whoosh! He ran into the house, once he recovered his shorts from the hands of his laughing brother, and locked himself in the bathroom for a full 30 minutes, crying his little eyes out. We managed to talk him down after about half an hour of reassuring him that, while it was wrong of his brother to do that, and of course, understandably embarrassing, it wasn't the end of the world, and if that was the last time his little shiney white hiney ever saw the light of day in front of strangers in his life, he would be damn lucky. It's not like I was out there, or any strangers saw him. The poor thing. I felt so bad for him, but it was all I could do not to laugh. Not at the fact that it happened, because I know how shy he is, but at just how much drama there was over it. "I wanna go hooooome.. I'm never coming ouuuut"...the tears..oh, the tears! I don't know how he's gonna survive high school and gym class being that shy, unless they don't make them shower after gym anymore...or the locker rooms all have private changing rooms. I know they sure did make them when I went to school. He's so mature in some ways, you'd think he was 20 instead of a week into being 14, but sometimes he's still so very young. He's over it now, because I promised him pizza for dinner, and I yelled at John for him, so I guess he'll survive it all. Now, he'll have something to tell his therapist when he grows up.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

I AM THE COLOR....

Results...: "HASH(0x8ab1c74)
You are the color pink. As a beautiful and sweet
human, you are everybody's favorite person.
Healthy and energetic, you're often seen
spreading the happines. As an unusually
charming and sweet person, you're always ready
to comfort people who are down. You sympathize
with everyone, but not always yourself. Aside
from that, you are light-hearted and cheery.
And you make it your duty to make every cloud
have


What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla"

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

The Top 10 Least Romantic Sayings

10) "You're The Cheez Wiz on my potato."

9) "Being without you is like a biscuit without gravy."

8) "I need you like someone with the squirts needs Pepto
Bismol."

7) "You make me so excited, I just can't hold my bladder."

6) "I wanna be close to you like a leech on an abrasion."

5) "I want you like a dog wants a muscular leg."

4) "You mean more to me than a Buy one, Get one Free Coupon
at Waffle House."

3) "I want you more than a Romulan wants to kill a Klingon."

2) "I want you more than the nastiest heroin addict needs a
fix from a dirty needle."

1) "Its either you or the dog but I gotta sleep with someone
tonight!"

Which House Do You Belong In?

YOU'VE BEEN SORTED INTO...: "i

be sorted @ nimbo.net"

Monday, June 07, 2004

A Little More Harry Talk

Now that a few people I know have seen Harry Potter, and more reviews are in from people around the blogosphere who have seen it, I think the general concensus is that it's a great movie. Some Harry purists are all disappointed because it isn't perfect, but most say it was totally worth it. Now that I think about it though, there are a few things that I wish were different. Having read and loved all the books, I could follow and appreciate the movie, but for some who have never read the books there are some things that kinda need to be explained to get the full effect of the movie. This wasn't really the case with the first two, for the most part. I still really miss Dumbledore, and I was kinda disappointed that there wasnt much Snape, and Professor McGonagle is very scarce, that was kind of disappointing. I loved Emma Thompson and Gary Oldman..both were great. I loved Hermione punching Malfoy, that rawked! The Marauder's Map needed to be gone into more. The one thing I think I would change that would have made it just a tad better is I don't think they made enough of a big deal about Azkaban Prison and how terrible it is, and how awful the fact that Sirius had spent all that time there with the dementors. I think a bigger deal should have been made and more explanation given about the dementors and their role and effect on people, and effect on Harry in particular, also. It was explained, but sort of glossed over...at least I think so. I still love the movie, and can't wait to see it again, but people who never read the books may not get as much out of it as those who have.

What Star Do You Look LIke?

Star Estimator

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned..

Shamelessly lifted from .blogdaddy This cracked me up.

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates, St. Peter asks the first girl, Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a penis?

She giggles and shyly replies, Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St. Peter says, Ok, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis? The girl is a little reluctant but replies, Well once I fondled and stroked one. St Peter says OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says Lisa! What seems to be the rush? The girl replies If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."

Saturday, June 05, 2004

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

Your New Romance - What Kind of Shoe Are You?: "





You are Barefoot!


You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl

You can't be restricted by shoes for very long

And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men

Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are




What Shoe Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.



"

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Guess where I went tonight?

Go on... GUESS!

THAT'S RIGHT!




J came in tonight and he said he was bored, so I said, jokingly, figuring he would never actually do it, that he should take me to see Harry Potter. He said no, he couldn't afford it, at first. Which is what I expected. Then about 15 minutes later, he came back in the room and said if I wanted to go, I'd better get ready. It was awesome! Having read the books, there was a few things I wish had been different, and things they should have included and/or explained more, but I thought it was really a great movie to watch. I really missed the original Dumbledore, he was so awesome. The new one is good too, but just seems less magical or something. He's shorter and, I don't know, just different. When Lupin changed to the ..wait, I won't tell ya about that, in case you don't know..but I just thought that it was a pretty funky looking transformation compared to what you would traditionally expect him to look like. I was totally psyched and couldn't wait to see it, and I wasn't at all disappointed.

Before we went to the movie, he took me out to eat at
I took a picture of the giant ape they have in the middle of the restaurant

You can see how huge it is, compared to the size of the guy sitting in front of it, even though it's kinda dark in there. We went to a new Larry's, which is their new corporate headquarters, and it was really cool in there. It was just built, and when you drive around the back out of the parking lot, you can see this

I thought it was really pretty, so I took a pic of it. You can't tell in the picture, because I don't have a zoom lens, but the apartments are really nice and they're all different colors, so it looks a lot cooler up close.

J, in typical J fashion, managed to irritate me. He acted like he wanted to see the movie, then when we got there we had to wait for an hour before they started seating, and he got cranky. Here he is standing in line

We were like first in line, but he was complaining he was bored and tired the whole tiime we stood there. Grrrrrr This is me being annoyed
Ten minutes into the movie, he fell asleep. When he did wake up, he complained that he was cramped in his seat and uncomfortable, and cold, and tired. Waaah.. His legs were cramped because he couldn't put them on the seat in front of him, like he usually does. He has long legs, and he was in the corner seat, next to the wall, and with people on the other side of me, I couldn't just move over to give him much more room, but it wasn't that bad in there. He was just complaining. It didn't ruin the movie for me, but it did put a damper on my enjoyment of it. It's so much better to see something you're really excited about or into with someone who is as excited about it as you are, or at least can appreciate it and try to enjoy it. Not J..he couldn't manage to try to enjoy it. I didn't let him bring me down or ruin my night. I got to see the movie I've been waiting for a long time to see, I appreciate the fact that he brought me, and I had a great time in spite of him, and that's all that counts.



Friday, June 04, 2004

Feelin' Scrappy?

Wow..there's a scrapbooking convention going on here in Jacksonville this weekend. They showed pics of it on the news, and there are tons and tons of people all over the place. I'd love to go, but I don't dare. That's one thing I've never gotten into, but I can bet I'd get sucked in pretty easy. I knew that scrapping was a big time hobby with lots of people, but some of the people they interviewed said they spent $100 or more a month os crapping supplies and stuff. They said the average is $50 a month for most scrappers. That's $600 a year to decorate a photo album, essentially. I can see the appeal, I love to do creative things, and they showed some of the things people have made, and they certainly are gorgeous and really creative. In this day of digital photography, where most pictures never see "the light of day" in terms of actually being printed, they are all uploaded to the web and saved on hard drives and digital media, I guess it's nice to see that "regular" photos are still being kept and preserved like that. I just wonder what you do with them once they're done? You just set hundreds of dollars and hundreds of hours of work and creativity on the shelf, and once in a great while they get dusted off and shown? I bet some of these scrapbooks being made now will be worth lots of money sometime in the distant future to collectors, like certain kinds of folk art. Oh well, I'm staying far away from that convention, that's all I know. I can't afford to buy tissue paper and photo albums.. I have enough trouble stopping myself from buying beads.

My Bad...

I have been a very bad blogger lately, I know. I haven't updated in three days, and I've hardly visited any of my regular blogroll haunts much at all. I have started five or ten posts over the past week that never got finished, but almost doing a post doesn't quite count. I don't have any excuse really, I guess I've just been busy concentrating on having a real life and contemplating my navel. It's not going very well, so far, but Im still holding out hope. I've basically spent a lot of time working, sleeping, and daydreaming. Trying to figure out what I want to do, and what I should do about the things that I'm not satisfied with. I did go ahead and post two of the posts that I had done and put on hold, because I realized that the reason I really hadn't posted the first one was because I'm still really censoring myself in terms of J and what might upset him. Then I realized, that I don't care. Not that I don't care about him or his feelings, but this is my Blog dammit! I started it for me, to vent and talk about what I want to talk about, and I'm going to continue to write what I like. If he doesn't want to read something, or something pisses him off, then he should just keep his nose the hell outta things that aren't meant for him. Then again, I am still planning to launch the new blog and start posting there soon, and I may remove that post and move it over there, just in case, if I finally get motivated to get the thing ready for company and start posting there, so then it will be okay. I won't have to worry about him finding it. Until then, there it is, and phuque it if it doesn't make anyone else happy. I kinda felt bad that I hadn't been posting, but then there's a lot of that going around lately. Lots of folks with may more regular readers than I'll ever have to worry about having here have been taking vacations from blogging. I apologize to the 3 of you for neglecting you, and I'll try to do better, but when there's nothing worth sharing in my head, there's not much I can do about it. So, I guess I just wanted to check in, and let anyone who may care know that I haven't abandoned you completely. I'm off now, but I'll be back soon with some more fascinating stuff.

I Have No Control

Since I've been rather bored and restless lately, especially with the absence of most of my favorite TV pacifiers due to summer, I've had to find new and interesting ways to entertain myself. So, I've taken up some new hobbies, and resumed some old ones. I've begun making jewelry and playing with beads again, I've been reading, I've been spending time in my yard planning the placement and setup of my pool, and daydreaming endlessly of how blissful it will be when it finally gets here, I've even taken to following the dogs around the house with a camera taking their pictures (which I may post some of for you later, if I get motivated enough). This is kinda fun, but it really annoys the dogs. I've also been trying to get back into the whole diet thing, and trying to be active, doing mini workouts whenever the mood and opportunity strikes, and I've done really well. Until this morning. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, and I innocently went into the kitchen, searching for a snack, and before I knew it I was whipping up a chocolate cake. I don't know how it happened. I was just about to pour it into the pan before I realized what I was doing. I stopped, and thought "what am I doing??!" I don't need cake. What about my diet? Cake is bad for a diet. But, by then it was too late. I couldn't stop myself. I finished it, frosted it with a ton of gooey chocolate frosting, and then I cut myself a big ol' hunk of cake..damn was it goood!!! Now, I have a problem. I have this whole cake in my kitchen, sitting on my counter all smug and happy with itself, because it knows I'm weak. It's going to sit there, laughing at me, mocking me, daring me to eat it..or daring me NOT to eat it, until it's gone. I can't eat a whole cake, that would just be wrong. Yet, I can't throw it away because that would be wasting a really, really delicious cake. Luckily for me, J and John came in, and I cut them each a huge slab of cake, too. That helped a little, but the rest of it is still out there, and I can hear it callling my name. It says, "Come on..you know ya want me. You know how absolutely yummy I am, all sweet, moist, chocolatey, and covered in thick chocolate frosting. You know you can't resist the frosting. I do know that I can't, too. I'm holding out, so far, but I don't know how much longer I can manage. I may have to call in reinforcements, and have my mom come by and get some of it. I really, really would love nothing better than to go in there and just throw it away, but I just can't do it. I'd be like Miranda in that SATC episode where she throws away the cake she made, and then digs it out of the trash and eats it. Sad. Pathetic. That would be me. I have rationalized that it's not too, too bad that I gave in to the cake, because I can think of it as a last indulgence, and now that I no longer have any cake mixes or frosting in my house, I can be free to concentrate on healthier things. I've been eating healthier. I'm getting my pool, and most likely an exercise bike or treadmill of some sort with my next check. Maybe one little cake isn't all that bad, really. I just have to stay away from it, and I'll be fine. I'll let J and John eat it. Yeah, that's it! Okay, I can do this. I am stronger than the cake. I can resist ..and I will be fine. And if I cave and lose it, and devour the evil thing in it's entirety by myself by the end of the evening.... I'll still be okay. Weak and undisciplined with a bigger, fatter ass, but still okay.

In the mood I've been in lately, I've been feeling increasingly frustrated with just about everything. I have so many things that I want to do, places I want to go, along with an ever-growing list of "things" I want, in terms of material stuff. For example, my pool, a new computer (probably a laptop), a new (better) camera, and some improvements I want to do on the house, like paint, and eventually have a Florida Room added on. The problem is, I know I can get the material things and the house changes done, it's just a matter of time and patience. Which I have none of..but since I'm not rich, I have no choice but to take it one step at a time. Either that, or start charging things and get caught up in the credit trap again, which I don't want to do. It's very frustrating! But, the other things, the things that are really bugging me in terms of enjoying life, are things that aren't going to change unless some big changes are made in my life, in general. I can't go do things I want to do, when I am with someone who has no interest in the things I want to do, and will not "allow" me to do them without him. By that, I mean, if I go off and say "screw you, bud!" and just go do what I like, I have to come home to a whole world of shit..arguing, bickering, and bullshit..that I just don't want to have to deal with. It's just not worth it..right now. We had an argument last night, and I was really, really pissed off. I'm still not completely over it, because it was so stupid, and I'm so unbelievably sick of having this same argument over and over again. Really, we have been having this same argument on a regular basis for the past six years. We always have the same arguments, and they never get us anywhere. All they ever do, is piss me off and make me want to kick him in the head. He just doesn't get it. He's not going to change me, and it pisses me off to no end that I have to keep saying ..screaming, really.. the same things to him over and over and over. I tell him how sick I am of the same bullshit over and over, and he tells me that if I would change, the arguments would stop. Then, I tell him, I know an easier way to make them stop.. he could get the phuque outta my house. Yet, I still have no plans to change, and he's still here. We made up, but it's still irking me. Then tonight, we went out to dinner, and as we were driving home and talking, I was listening to him, and I realized that he rarely ever says anything positive. Everything is so negative with him. He complains all the time. It's very emotionally draining to live with someone who is constantly whining about how life is so hard, and rarely ever says anything that is positive, happy, or encouraging. This isn't a new revelation really. It's not like the lightbulb suddenly went off in my head in a true "EUREKA!!" moment. I've "known" this about J forever, but it's never really hit me until recently just how negatively his negativity affects me. I've learned over time to shut him off when he starts getting to me. I shut him off, but not before the damage is already done. Not before he's managed to ruin my mood or piss me off. I can just tune him out, like he's not even there. It's an effective way to deal with it, but really not the makings of any kind of healthy relationship. Not that I have ever had delusions that our relationship was anywhere near healthy. Why.. I can hear you asking.. are you still with him then??! Unfortunately, the answer to that is complex and boring, and increasingly hard to justify even in my own head.

Congratulations, you are Two.

Congratulations, you are Two.: "

I am the number
2
I am friendly

_

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa
"

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Hi, My Name Is JaxVenus, and I Have A Problem...

This was a pretty long, boring weekend. I didn't do anything but work and sleep, and watch a ton of movies. I couldn't do much of anything else, because I was trying to get a gazillion lines in for work so I can make my check be big and huge. I think I watched about 16 movies over the course of the past 4 days. That's cuz I just got a bunch of new ones, and I watched some of the ones I've had for a while, too. The new DVDs I just got on Friday in the mail from the Columbia House DVD Club were:
1. Harry Potter - Chamber of Secrets. (had VHS, just getting it on DVD now).
2. Fight Club.
3. Mr. Deeds.
4. Shallow Hal
5. Two Weeks Notice (again, had VSH already)
6. How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days
7. Bruce Almighty (replacement for the one that went missing)

I also watched Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone, Love, Actually, The Hot Chick, Something's Gotta Give, Cheaper By The Dozen, Notting Hill, Peter Pan, Never Been Kissed, Object of My Affection (on TV), Die Hard (on TV), America's Sweethearts (on TV). I also managed to watch a whole lot of regular TV too. Now, that's a lot of watching!! Plus, I managed to type close to 4000 lines..busy, busy busy.. boring, boring, boring. I really do love to watch movies, which is why I buy so many of them, but when you have time to watch that many movies over the course of 4 days, less actually, since I only watched two of them today, so the majority was over three days, it's time to seriously get a life! I just realized that I've bought at least 25 DVDs in just over 2 months. I think I may have a problem. Do they have support groups for DVD-aholics??

I'm still on the pool kick, and I've pretty much talked myself into buying one when I get paid. I just have to decide what kind I want, how big, etc. I've been spending a lot of time going over different types and styles and comparing prices. Because I'm cheap like that, and I want to pay as little as possible. I tried to tell myself no. I told myself that I know I shouldn't. I know it's expensive to keep up and I'll have to be out there skimming and cleaning and chlorinating...it will seriously cut into my movie time..but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Trouble is, I'm very, very impatient, and once I decide I want something, I want it NOW. It's killing me to have to wait 10 whole more days, and then it will probably be the next weekend before we'll have time to put it up and get it filled, so it's really closer to two whole weeks. I'm not a happy camper. I'm soooo poor right now, it's pathetic. I can't buy so much as a pack of gum for the next ten days..then my check will be gimungous cuz it will be double plus my bonuses..but until then it's not good. I had to get a dang payday loan to cover my rent and cell bill, so I didn't have stuff bouncing all over. GRRRRRRRR. The very absolute worst part of the whole thing is, I really, really, really wanted to go to Harry Potter on the 4th. I've been waiting forever, and I soooo want to go, but now I can't go until the next weekend.. unless someone takes pity on me and takes me. But, there's nothing I can do except attempt to be patient. I'm not good at it, but I guess I'm just gonna have to chill and learn to deal.