14. Beer: Getting sorority girls knocked up for 300 years
13. Goes Down Cold, Comes Up Smooth!
12. A decent excuse for your normal clumsy self
11. Because You're Sober
10. Tastes like piss, but you'll drink it anyway
9. Beer: That nasty taste means it's workin'!
8. You have to fill your bladder with something.
7. Don't Make Germany Angry. You Wouldn't Like Germany
When It's Angry.
6. We don't make the urine. We make the urine faster.
5. Numbing the Embarrassment of Being You
4. It's the thicker-chicker-picker-upper!
3. Easier to Spell than Whiskey
2. The *Other* Thin Yellowish Liquid
1. Beer: It's how you got here.