Monday, August 30, 2004

My new Toy

Saturday, August 28, 2004


Ya know what's phuqued up?! It's bad enough that when I pay 80.00+ a month for cable TV, I have to sit through a zillion commercials in my home, but now you get commercials no matter what ya do! Sit down at your computer, and you get bombarded with stupid POS popup ads for crap you don't want and don't need. You have to go find a special program and install it on your computer, simply to make it possible to surf without having to stop every 3 seconds to kill a phuqing popup! Don't even get me started on the massive amounts of SPAM that finds its way into my email every day of the week...sheesh! Then, it used to be when you buy a video, you'd get the previews for other movies at the beginning of some of them, but you can fast forward through them if you aren't interested, and at least they're entertaining, and it's sorta like going to a regular movie..but now, you buy a DVD and there's commercials on some of them, too! Com-phuqing-mercials on your damn DVDs! I paid for the DVD..why I gotta watch a commercial? Now..if all this aint bad enough, they're playing G-Damn commercials at the freaking movie theaters. Yeah! Com-damn-phuqing-mercials at the start of a movie in the dang theater. WTF?! Now, along with your previews and the singing hotdog, and the please turn off your cell phones and be quiet type stuff.. you gotta watch Fanta commercials, car commercials, and ads telling me to Be All That I Can Be and join the service.. what kinda crap is that?! I paid 8.00 for my ticket, and another 12.00 for popcorn and sodas..don't they make enough damn money, without making us sit through ads too? Okay.. I'm done ranting now.. we now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Friday, August 27, 2004


During the course of my job as an MT (medical transcriptionist, for those who don't know) I often come across new medical terms for drugs, diseases, surgical instruments, etc. Most days, this is pretty boring and tends not to be any big deal.. Today, I came across a new surgical instrument I'd never heard of before during transcription of a colphorrhaphy called.. are ya ready.. a Beaver retractor.. for a colporrhaphy (surgical repair of the vagina).. a retractor for your beaver.. hahaha. I know, I'm an idiot.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Just Me Again

Slacking, slacking, slacking.. yeah, that's pretty much me here lately. I don't know where my time goes, but it sure as hell has been flying lately. It's 3 weeks and counting til I'm outta here, and I can't wait. I have been working hard trying to make lots of cash so I'll have some money to blow at the fair while I'm up there. I'm so excited about being able to go to the fair. I haven't been in 10 years. We're going on Friday, so I'll get to see Heart. I've seen them in concert before, and it was a great show, so I'm pretty happy about that. I kinda wish J was coming with me, only so he could go to the fair, cuz he'd really like it...but I'll try to enjoy myself without him. LOL Well, not much has been going on around here, so not much exciting to blog about. He took me to a movie on Friday night, to see I, Robot, and I really liked it. I especially liked Will Smith in his undies, and nekkid in the shower...whoohooo. Good movie! Oh yeah, the story was pretty good too, and the robots were neat to watch. So, that's pretty much it for now. It's back to work for me.. work work work.. I think I need me one of them sugar daddies.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Birthday Week Update

Well, my birthday week is almost over, and not much exciting happened. Di took me out on Saturday night to Dave's for beer and kareoke, and we had a great time. We had cake and ice cream and dinner at her house first with the family, and then we went out after her ex picked up the kids. J, of course, couldn't be bothered to come to her house to do "the birthday thing" with me. He did buy me roses, though. Then, he bitched when I got home late. I told him to go screw though, cuz I was out celebrating my birthday with my family and people who give a shit, and if he was worried about what time I got home, he shoulda got off his dead behind and came over there with me. I think he figured he was gonna get lucky cuz he bought me flowers..pffffffffft. The kareoke part was a lot of fun. I'm getting a little more comfortable with it, now that I've done it a couple times. There were a few people who were actually pretty good. I even got up and sang alone, and we sang a bunch of times together. Well..actually, I didn't go up there by myself, because I'm chicken, but Di went up with me and stood there while I sang. There was some major flirting going on with me and a couple guys in the table in front of us, and this one guy was hitting on Di pretty hard, but unfortunately it didn't go beyond flirting, and we never really got together to talk, because I do have J. As long as he's here, regardless of the state of our relationship or lack thereof, I won't go messing with anyone else. I told him to get the phuque out last night, cuz he pissed me off a whooooole lot. He's waiting to find out if they are going to hire him on full time as a regular employee at the school, and I sure hope they do. Maybe if he's making some money, he'll realize he doesn't need me anymore and leave me. Hope springs eternal.

I'm still waiting for the appraiser people to call me about appraising the house, so I can get my financing done, but its been about two weeks now. I was glad it took a while really, cuz I had a bitch of a time getting someone to cut the grass on the empty lots, and our mowers are busted. I got the electric walk behind mower back today, it's finally fixed, but the ride-on is still busted. That one is next. I ended up having to pay a guy up the street $80.00 to mow the lots and my yard. The grass was pretty damn high though, so I didn't think that was a bad price. After calling all over and trying to find someone who would cut it for a decent price, I ended asking Mack to do it, because he was sitting out in front of my house on his lawn mower. People around here ride their mowers up and down the street, for some reason. It's very odd, but it worked out well for me. This is a really nice neighborhood people-wise. Everyone is really friendly and they all know each other, and watch out for each other. DeWitt, the guy who fixed my mower, doesn't even really know me and he fixed it for me and just charged me for the parts. It's a nice change from the other places I've lived down here, where I never really talked to most of my neighbors, and the few times I did, I ended up regretting it. I plan to be here for a while.... if I can get my house bought. I should know more in the next week or so, and once we get the appraisal done, it shouldn't be long before we can close. I hope they do it before I leave for Mass, but the way we're going, it could be Christmas before it gets done.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Not That I'm Complainin'...

Okay, it's almost 2:00 a.m...where are the winds? where are the pounding rains and the howling gales? Why is my roof not being ripped from the walls? What happened to the brutal winds that "sound like a train coming"? By now, I expected to be hovering in the corner, trying not to go near the windows, hoping they wouldn't shatter and spray glass and debris around my room. I was expecting to be sitting in the dark with my flashlight, with no power and no phone. Pfffffffft. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I like my walls without trees poking through them, and I am glad that nothing got destroyed, and noone got hurt. I wasn't looking forward to not having electricity either, because I really do need to work tonight and tomorrow, and I would hate to lose the time and get behind on stuff, but damn it.. I expected something! Anything! The storm, apparently, did just as I expected it to do, just as they always do. It went in a different direction, and turned out towards the ocean. It went right around us. They usually seem to do that...just pass us by. Jacksonville must just be in a great location, and major storms don't like to come this way. I guess some places got winds and lots of rain out by the beach, but we got nothing but some rain. Not even very heavy rain, at that. So, I guess I'll just continue working tonight and get stuff done, and hope the next two storms they say are forming follow the path of this one and go right by. At least the next time, I won't have to run around and find batteries and stuff, I got the lantern thingy and enough water to last a while. Good thing I drink a lot of water every day anyway. On the upside, J actually bought me dinner tonight, that was different! I'm loaning him some money next week so he can take two certificatioin tests he needs to take for school. I normally wouldn't give him money, seeing as I'm already supporting his ass, but he says he's pretty positive he can pass them both, and if he does there is a strong chance he'll have a job that he can start right away, even though he doesn't graduate until December, He'll make 45,000.00 a year. ..or so he claims. This would be spectacular for me in two ways, first because he can then give me some cash..then, the best part, he claims if he gets a good job he's moving out. He claims this house is too small, and he wants a bigger house. He says I can move with him and rent this place out ...(yeah, RIGHT!) or he'll go without me.. breaks my heart, really, it does. I ain't going nowhere. Not that I won't miss him.. once in a while.. but, I'll have to try and make it through without him...somehow. Wheeeeeeeeee. There's no way to know whether he'll go right away, or if he'll wait for a while before he goes. Only time will tell, but I think it's worth the 240.00 investment either way.

Friday, August 13, 2004


Busy day today. We've been running around like crazy people, trying to find stuff to get ready for the big storm heading this way, and Im freakin'. Hurricane Charlie is headed this way, and they're predicting big winds and lots of rain. I, of course, waited until the last minute to decide to freak out, and run out and try to find water and batteries and stuff. Nobody had D batteries we have flashlights with no batteries, and I couldn't find water, flashlights, or anything else I wanted. We ended up stopping at a Pep Boys auto place, and they actually had water and a 10000 candlepower ..or something like that.. lantern. SCORE! So, I have candles, I have water, we filled up the tub, I got tape for my windows, we bought ice in case the power goes out to keep the food cold. I think we're all set.. as long as the roof doesn't blow off or get crushed by a falling tree. I may be crouched in a closet or sitting in the doorway for the majority of the night. Mom and dad went to Di's for the night, because they live in the mo-bile home, and we didn't want them to blow away. We were going to do the same thing, but we decided to stay here, because of the puppies and kitties. They're gonna freak out enough with us here, if they were alone I can imagine how freaked out they'll be. Eric is here for the night now, too. They live in a really crappy mobile home in Sin City, and he was scared to stay there. I just hope this thing goes by and nobody gets hurt. The thing that really sucks, aside from the destruction and impending power outages I'm sure we're in for, is me and Di were supposed to go out tomorrow night for my birthday to do some kareoke and get drunk, and if it doesn't stop storming, we won't be able to go out. That's the real tragedy in the whole thing, really. My birthday is Monday. I'm not expecting big things. I know I won't get anything from J, Di will take me out and pay for my drinks, and mom and dad will give me cash. woohoooo. I guess the good thing is, I get cake. Cake is good. Happy birthday to me.. big whoop. Yesterday, we got part of the other storm that went through, and a tornado touched down a few blocks from my house. I had no clue, until my mom called to see if I blew away or not. It took the air conditioning unit and part of the roof off a restaurant, and knocked down trees and power lines.. all that happened here is it rained really hard and the winds blew a little hard. I'm hoping that Charlie does the same thing. A few years ago, they predicted this huuuuuge hurricane was coming through here, and we evacuated and drove a few hours away to stay in a hotel cuz we were so scared. It was gonna be this big, huge storm with massive destruction.. it was a complete dud! I'm hoping this one turns out to be the same way. I guess I'll go finish battening down the hatches, just in case, and pray that my power doesn't go out..and my roof doesn't blow off.

Whats the difference between a hurricane and a redneck divorce.. ?

Either way, someone's fixin to lose a trailer.

Okay, so I think I told that one before, but it's still pretty funny.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Okay, so I Took A Little Break..

It's hard to believe that it's been close to a month since I last posted. Guess I've been a bit busy. I've started a million posts, but just never seemed to be able to finish one. I've been busy working on my house some, getting ready for the appraisers to come and trying to get my financing setup. I finally managed to get my credit scores up to the point where I can get financed on the house YEAH for me!! That's no small accomplishment. let me tell ya. I've also been in the pool and stuff, and working ALOT. After the whole computer frying problems I had, I had some catching up to do, and I had to bust my ass the whole of last pay period to try to get back ahead. Actually, I think mostly the reason why I haven't posted, and haven't been able to pull coherent thoughts together, is because of J and the general bullshit that is our "relationship". Most of the posts I've started have been filled with thoughts of him and us, and the things I want to post, I just can't say out loud. I'm still thinking he may some day find this page, and the things I'd have said over the past month, are things noone would want to read about themselves and their life on a public website. Basically, we don't really have a relationship anymore. It's been done for a while for all intents and purposes. It's going nowhere, we both know it. He won't change, I won't change. I don't want to change. Why would I want to do that? I don't have a problem with me. I still haven't posted about "the big news" yet, either, and I may get to that soon. It's not big news anymore, it turned out to be nothing in the end, but .. well, I'll get to all that another time. As for J, I do love him, or care about him anyway, just not "that way" anymore. And he doesn't love me either. .though he swears he does. I'm looking forward to my vacation in September. Six whole days in Massachusetts ALONE..with just me and my friends to worry about. There will be no whining. There will be no bitching. There will be no "I need, I want, give me, help me, waaaah". The general concensus of all my friends and family is "What the hell are you doing??" Why is he still here? Why do we bother staying together? Why do I need to be responsible for him? He's a grown man, and I'm not his mommy. I'll never find a real relationship while he's here. I know all of this, and I know it's true, but I know he doesn't have anyone else, not really. His family, what little he has, is pretty much worthless in terms of being willing to do anything for him or helping him. Again, not my problem..I know this. But I can't help it. I know he'd find a way, he'd survive without me and be fine, but I just can't ask him to go. Plus, there are a few things I would miss if he left. They really don't outweigh the things I'd be glad to be done with, but still I'd miss them. Confused much? Wishy washy doormat? Yeah.. that would be me! Oh well.. there will come a day when I least expect it, when I blow up and lose it, and that will be all. It will be done. In the meantime, I'm going to buy my house, work, take care of me and try to be happy, and wait until Sept. 16th, when I get on the plane and fly away for some peace and quiet.