Wednesday, September 01, 2004

You know you're getting old when...

- You start complaining that "They're building car seats too
low!"

- Your ears perk up when a laxative commercial comes on TV.

- You call the place you keep leftovers the "icebox."

- You start videotaping daytime game shows.

- You spend more time on the menu than the waitress.

- You know "where it's at", but forgot why it's there.

- You know how to spell gastroenterologist.

- You don't have any enemies because you've outlived them
all.

- You don't date women your own age, because there aren't any.

- "Happy Hour" now consists of a nap.

- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't
work.

- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been
anywhere.

- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

- You look forward to a dull evening.

- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

- Your back goes out more than you do.

- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

- Someone just told you that Old MacDonald sold his farm
in 1942.

No comments: