- You start complaining that "They're building car seats too
- Your ears perk up when a laxative commercial comes on TV.
- You call the place you keep leftovers the "icebox."
- You start videotaping daytime game shows.
- You spend more time on the menu than the waitress.
- You know "where it's at", but forgot why it's there.
- You know how to spell gastroenterologist.
- You don't have any enemies because you've outlived them
- You don't date women your own age, because there aren't any.
- "Happy Hour" now consists of a nap.
- Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't
- You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been
- Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
- Someone just told you that Old MacDonald sold his farm