Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I Stole This from Joelle..





The Girl Next Door
I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.
-- Erma Bombeck
The Girl Next Door is from a small town, a large family, or both. She still has a healthy dose of what people 'round these parts call "family values." She calls her grandparents every Sunday and she's got her mom on speed dial. The Girl Next Door likes an uncomplicated life filled with the simple pleasures of family, home, kids, and food. She may not actually live on a farm, but she tends to keep a menagerie. Asked to choose between a dog and a cat, she generally won't. What's a good guard dog without a mouser to keep it company? She is caring and warm, welcoming and friendly. Anybody in your office ever bring in chocolate chip cookies? You got yourself a Girl Next Door.

The defining characteristics of the Girl Next Door are simplicity and tradition. Simplicity means that, unlike the Academic Girl, she's really not that interested in the great questions that keep philosophers up at night. When she can sit in the kitchen, drinking coffee, eating shortbread cookies with a friend, and listening to the cat purr on top of the radiator, what else is there to life? What else, indeed.

She Might Be a Girl Next Door if:

She drives: a good, solid American car -- a Ford Taurus, Chevy Cavalier, or Dodge Stratus.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: her family's holiday traditions.
She begins her sentences with: "my mother says..."
She'd never: go to a rave.
She owns any of the following: scrapbooks, heirloom quilts, a Bible, family recipes, her grandmother's engagement ring.

Progressive Girl
Moderation in all things, excess in nothing.
-- Epicurus
Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She Might Be a Progressive Girl if:

She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

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