Saturday, December 11, 2004


Hello people! Anyone miss me??? Yeah, I didn't think so. Where have I been, you ask? Well, pretty much I've been home, working my ass off, getting farther behind, and being depressed. It really sucks how things can change so much in such a short time. Since the hurricanes, I've been just getting deeper and deeper in a hole, and I can't get ahead. They really killed me. I applied for Hurricane relief from FEMA, but I'm not eligible cuz I don't have any property damage and stuff, so that totally sucks. I got paid 1300.00 yesterday, and its GOOONE. I've got -$235.00 in the bank account at the moment, and I haven't even been grocery shopping yet :::sigh::: .I was actually thinking about just saying phuck it and give up my house, and move in with mom and dad for a while so I can get caught up, then go buy another house, when I get it all straightened out. But then I said, fuck that! I want MY house, and I'm just gonna have to bust my ass to get my shit together, without giving in to depression and bullshit and letting everything go down the toilet. On top of my money stuff, J found out this week that he has been driving around on a revoked license since May. He had an accident a few years back, his fault, and he didn't have insurance. He let it go, didn't take care of it, now he's got a judgement against him, we aren't sure for how much or the details yet, but he's gotta pay that. Then, his insurance will be astronomical once he gets the license back, so he won't be able to afford to drive anyway. I'll probably end up having to go get my license, so I can get insurance and he can drive, or I can drive...whichever. He's been busing it to school, he's not working anyway (of course) so that's not a big deal, but it's just one more thing added to the suckage that my life has become lately. I can't move home with the folks anyway, cuz I'd have to give up my puppies. They wouldn't let them come there, and I wont do that. Although, they won't let J come either, so he'd have to go find someone else to live with.. hmmmm. That's one good argument for mom's house! I got a second part time job, typing for another company, and hopefully that will help some. Christmas is gonna be one big suckfest this year. I can't buy anything for anybody this year, not that they'll care, but it bums me out. I'll feel like crap getting presents and having nothing to give anyone else. On top of which, not only does J graduate from school this month, but it's also his 40th bday on the 22nd..he's gettin' nuthin! I feel bad about it, but there's nothing I can do. I do have some $40 in gift certificates to Olive Garden, so I can at least take him out for his birthday, I guess. Oh well, it will all turn out okay in the end, it always does. It may not turn out the way I'd like it to, and I may have to adjust my plans and deal with whatever I have to do, but somehow, someway, It will all work itself out. Until then, I'll be working and trying to look on the bright side.

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